Why Trying Harder Isn't Enough (And What Actually Works) [Podcast Transcript]

Title: Why Trying Harder Isn't Enough (And What Actually Works)

Podcast Date: August 18, 2026

Listen Here:

Description

We've all done it — the new plan, the new resolve, the "this time I mean it." So why does it never stick? In this episode, we dig into why willpower and self-discipline can't fix a body image struggle, because the real issue was never really about the body at all. In this episode best-selling author and podcast host, Heather Creekmore discusses the distinction between managing behavior and addressing the root, why trying harder can subtly become its own idol, and what practical, lasting change actually looks like when it emerges from being already loved, rather than striving to earn it.

Take this with you quote of the episode: 

"We quietly switch the engine to self-effort, as if right information could finish what only Christ began."

Timestamped Overview:

00:00 Struggling with conflicting diet advice

04:42 Sarah's frustrating morning routine

07:47 Myth of a perfect fitness answer

12:06 Jesus and the Woman at the Well

14:32 Breaking free from earning mindset

18:03 Self-effort versus grace in faith

21:42 Practical steps to inspire change

26:18 Embracing rest over striving

27:44 Finding peace in ordinary choices

Discussion questions for listeners / community:

1. What's your "well" — the thing you keep going back to, hoping it will finally satisfy?
2. When has "trying harder" worked short-term but failed to last? What happened?
3. What would it look like this week to ask "what am I actually thirsty for?" instead of "how do I white-knuckle this?"

Links:

Join the 40 Day Journey - learn more here: https://www.improvebodyimage.com/40-day-challenge

Learn more about Heather's books and resources here: https://www.improvebodyimage.com/books-for-christian-women-body-image

Transcript

Disclaimer: This transcript is AI-generated and has not been edited for accuracy or clarity.

Heather Creekmore [00:00:02]:

Life Audio. Picture her for a second. I'll call her Sarah, but honestly, she could be any of us. Maybe she is you. Sarah wakes up and first thing she does before her feet even hit the floor, she reaches for her phone. And in the first 90 seconds of her day, before she's even had a sip of water, she's already absorbed 6 contradictory instructions about how she should take care of her body. One reel tells her that seed oils are slowly poisoning her and she needs to switch to tallow. The next tells her that that's fearmongering nonsense, and as long as she hits her protein goals, she's fine.

Heather Creekmore [00:00:40]:

A third says protein chasing is a diet culture trap and she should just be doing gentle nutrition. A fourth says intermittent fasting changed this woman's life, and well, look at her. And then a fifth says fasting is going to wreck your cortisol and it's going to give you cortisol face, and that's why she looks puffy. And a 6 is a doctor, an actual doctor, we think, but wearing a white coat and everything, telling you that the doctor in yesterday's video was wrong. By the time Sarah stands up, she hasn't done anything yet. She hasn't eaten, she hasn't moved, she hasn't looked in the mirror, but she's already behind. She's already failing at a version of right that she didn't choose, and it keeps rewriting itself so that every day, no matter what she does, No matter who she follows, she's always falling short. Here's what I want to say to Sarah and any of you who feels her exhaustion in your bones today.

Heather Creekmore [00:01:42]:

You're not failing to get it right. There is no right to get, not one that hundreds of people are actually agreeing on anyway. And no amount of trying harder is going to let you win a game with rules that change every time you open an app. Stick with me, friend. I think this one might set something down in you that you've been carrying for a long time. I'm Heather Creekmore. You're listening to the Compared To Podcast. I'm glad you're here.

Heather Creekmore [00:02:22]:

Well, hey there. Thanks for listening to the Compared To Podcast today. This is like episode 530 or something like that. I've been podcasting for 7 years now. And if you're new to the show, welcome. I'm glad you're here. This is a space for anyone who's tired. And today I specifically wanna talk to you if you are not just tired, but exhausted.

Heather Creekmore [00:02:47]:

And it's a certain kind of exhausted. It's the kind of exhausted that comes not just from one bad day, but from years of trying to be, I don't know, let's call it the straight A student. Mm-hmm. In a class where the professor keeps changing the syllabus every single morning. Because here's what I don't think gets said enough. It's not just that body image issues are hard. It's that we're being asked to build our sense of, am I doing this right, on a foundation that was never designed to hold still. Fitness influencers disagree with nutrition influencers who disagree with doctors who disagree with other doctors who disagree with what your grandmother And honestly, sometimes what Grandma told you holds up better than everything else.

Heather Creekmore [00:03:38]:

And somewhere in the middle of all of that noise is a woman like Sarah, or maybe like you, who is genuinely, sincerely, and exhaustedly trying. She's trying to eat right. She's trying to move right. She's trying not to think about her body too much. She's trying to think about her body in a biblical way. She's trying to be healthy. to serve Jesus. She's trying to love God.

Heather Creekmore [00:04:04]:

She's trying to take care of her family. She's trying to be good at work. She's trying to be a good daughter. She's trying to be a good wife. She's trying, she's trying, she's trying, trying so hard to get it all right that there's a limited availability of capacity left to just actually live, yet alone enjoy life. So today we're gonna talk about why just trying harder to get it right was never a good solution. It was never gonna work. Like, honestly, it's not because you are not trying hard enough.

Heather Creekmore [00:04:42]:

It's because this idea of right, and I'm using that in quotation marks, right, was never a fixed target to hit in the first place, at least not according to culture. So let's go back to our friend Sarah for a minute, because I think her Tuesday is going to sound maybe painfully familiar to some of you. So by 10 AM, Sarah has already changed her mind about breakfast twice. She initially she meant to skip it because someone she saw on one of those reels said that 16:8 fasting, so a 16-hour fasting window, 8-hour eating window, of course, is the way to do it. And so she tried it, but then she started feeling shaky. And so she ate anyway, and now she feels guilty, and she's convinced that she's already blown it for the day. But somehow she makes it to lunch, probably thinking about food all morning, and she stands in front of the fridge for 4 full minutes, not because she doesn't know how to feed herself, but because she's trying to remember which foods are inflammatory and which oil is toxic and how much protein she's already had and whether or not it's okay to count protein grams when you're doing intuitive eating. And she's just trying to follow all the philosophies, and sometimes it feels like they want opposite things.

Heather Creekmore [00:06:00]:

By that afternoon— oh goodness, she's found herself scrolling again. She didn't even mean to, but she just had 5 spare minutes in line and starts scrolling. And what does she see? She sees a woman with a flat stomach explaining the one thing she stopped eating to fix her menopause belly. Sarah doesn't even fully trust this woman, but Some tiny, small, tired part of her thinks, hmm, what if she's actually the one who got it right? What if she's showing me the way? I'm the one who's been getting it wrong the whole time. I just need to stop eating that. And that's the trap right there. It's not that Sarah lacks conviction. It's that she's been handed hundreds of competing convictions, all delivered with complete confidence, all clipped for 15 seconds, all landing in the part of her that already wonders if she's doing the right thing or doing enough.

Heather Creekmore [00:07:00]:

She isn't undisciplined. She's just exhausted from trying to be disciplined toward a target that keeps moving. And here's the part that breaks my heart a little. Sarah would probably just tell you she has a willpower problem. She just can't stick to the program, that she needs to just pick a plan and Be more determined to stick to it. But her actual problem isn't willpower. It's that she's been conscripted into an impossible, unwinnable competition, and nobody even told her the game was rigged. So let's talk about why just trying harder to get it right will never work.

Heather Creekmore [00:07:47]:

We'll do that right after this quick break. Just trying harder is always going to fail for a couple reasons. Reason 1, there's no it to get right. This is the piece that I think it's buried under all the noise. We talk about body image and food and fitness like there's a hidden correct answer. I call it in my book Compared to You, I call it a unicorn, or it's lost treasure, and we are Indiana Jones trying to find, you know, the, the— what is he trying You know, when they try to find the goblet, I think it's the chalice of Jesus, right? It's like this treasure, this mystery, this unicorn, and we just haven't found it yet. And if we could just find the right thing, if like Sarah, we could just do all the research and finally land on the truth, we'll find this thing and it'll unlock everything for us. And suddenly we'll be able to eat right and our body fat will just melt away and we'll be fit.

Heather Creekmore [00:08:47]:

We'll be the best versions of ourselves. Unlock a heaven on earth unlike we've ever experienced, right? It's like it's just hidden out there, and my goal is to find it. But here's what ends up happening: you can open follow ten different accounts on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, your choice of poison, and you'll get ten different truths, each one presented with the same amount of conviction, the same amount of certainty, like. Each of them will imply that anyone who disagrees with what they're suggesting is misinformed or lying or just trying to sell you something, as if they're not trying to sell you something. Trying harder to get it right assumes that the right answer is out there. It's findable. It's stable. But it isn't.

Heather Creekmore [00:09:44]:

Not in this arena, which means the striving itself It's like chasing a mirage. Okay. Reason number 2, the goalposts are being moved on purpose. Yes, there is an agenda behind this. Like, I wanna be honest about this. A lot of this content isn't neutral information. It's marketing wearing a costume of concern. The algorithm rewards whatever you keep watching, and nothing keeps you watching like a little jolt of, oh, Wait, am I doing that wrong? Influencers, even sincere ones, often build entire platforms on identifying a new problem you didn't know you had because the solution is usually attached to something they're selling, a program or a supplement.

Heather Creekmore [00:10:31]:

And that's not conspiracy theory, that's just how it works. Which means some of what feels like I'm just staying informed is actually just repeatedly opening yourself up to a fresh wave of manufactured inadequacy. You've got it wrong. You're not up to date. You haven't heard? That's so 2025. Now we do it this way, right? Oh, it's so frustrating. Reason 3, trying harder just treats our heart issues like research problems. Here's the phrase I want you to remember from this whole episode.

Heather Creekmore [00:11:13]:

Remember this, your body image struggle is not really about your body. I don't know how many times I've said that, hundreds of times if you've listened to this podcast for a while, but it's one thing that's just really hard for most of us to believe. But underneath our, I need to finally figure out the right way to eat, is usually something more like, I need to finally feel okay. I need proof that I'm disciplined enough or good enough or in control enough or worthy enough. Remember our friend Sarah? She's not actually looking for her correct macro split. She's looking for permission to stop feeling like a failure. And no influencer, no matter how confident, can actually give her that because that was never a nutrition problem. That's a heart problem.

Heather Creekmore [00:12:06]:

So if trying harder to find the right answer isn't the actual answer, what is? Well, I want to take you to a passage that changed how I think about this whole thing. In John chapter 4, Jesus meets a woman at the well. She's alone at the well in the hottest part of the day when nobody else would be there because she's carrying shame she'd rather nobody see. She's been married 5 times, is currently living with a man who isn't her husband, and Jesus doesn't hand her a better relationship plan or a stricter set of rules so she can finally get it right. He goes straight to the root. He says essentially, everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but the water I give will become a spring welling up to eternal life. And she kept going back to the well. Like she kept trying the next relationship, trying the next fix, trying the next thing to finally make her feel better, make her feel whole.

Heather Creekmore [00:13:01]:

And that's not just a story about marriage, friends. I mean, that's Sarah's story too, and probably yours and mine. We keep going back to the well, the next plan, the next fill in the blank, the next influencer, the next thing, the next piece of finally the real truth. And we keep being shocked that we're thirsty again by next Tuesday. There's a phrase in Colossians that I think nails exactly what's been happening to Sarah and to you and to me. Paul writes about rules and regulations. Don't handle, don't taste, don't touch. And he says something almost startling.

Heather Creekmore [00:13:39]:

He says these rules have an appearance of wisdom, but they're of no value in checking the indulgence of the flesh. In other words, even a technically correct rule followed perfectly cannot touch the actual thing under the struggle. You can win every single rule you find online, every rule any influencer's ever mentioned, And you can still be just as hungry, just as anxious, just as unsettled in your own skin. Rules are never the mechanism for heart change. They weren't built for that job. So here's the reframe I want to offer you. The goal was never to finally find the right thing that works for you. The goal is to stop asking any plan.

Heather Creekmore [00:14:32]:

To be your well. So let's camp out just for a second here on one more piece of this, because I think it's what finally makes lasting change possible instead of just like theoretically nice. I think it's what Sarah needs most. Almost every voice competing for Sarah's attention, and yours and mine, is built on a hidden posture of Earning. Get the right plan and you'll finally earn the body, the confidence, the permission to feel okay. And even our spiritual language around trying harder can quietly run on the same fuel. If I'm disciplined enough, informed enough, obedient enough, I'll finally feel like I'm enough. And that's not really all that different from chasing the fitness and food trends.

Heather Creekmore [00:15:24]:

It's just chasing it with a Bible verse taped on top. But listen to what Jesus actually says in Matthew chapter 11. It reads, come to me all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Listen to that again. Slowly. My yoke is easy, my burden is light.

Heather Creekmore [00:15:56]:

I will give you rest. I want you to picture yourself sitting on the couch scrolling. Jesus isn't saying try harder, sort through more reels. Can you get through more content? Like, stay online longer so you can see more reels, and then you'll finally find the right answer, and then you can earn rest. Because you'll have it figured out. You'll find like the magic key that unlocks all the happiness, and then you can, ah, exhale. Now what is he saying? He's saying, come and I will give you rest first. Before she's found the right plan, before Sarah's sorted facts from marketing, before she's fixed anything at all.

Heather Creekmore [00:16:43]:

Rest isn't the reward of getting it right. Rest is the starting place. The whole thing is is supposed to grow out of. And this flips the order that most of us live by. We think, once I finally figure out the right way to eat and the right way to exercise for my body and for my season of life and the right way to manage my day and manage my schedule and manage my family, like once I can just be consistent and get all these things right, then I'll see the results I want. And once I see the results I want, then I'll be able to rest. I'll be able to stop striving. I'll be able to feel like I'm enough.

Heather Creekmore [00:17:20]:

Then I'll be able to go to Jesus and say, Okay, I'm good now. What do you have for me? Oh friend, that's not how it works. Jesus offers us the rest first. The rest is a gift, not something we earn. The rest isn't a prize for winning an impossible information war. The rest is the starting line, not the finish line. Hebrews chapter 4 says, That there remains a Sabbath rest for God's people because whoever enters God's rest also rests from their own work the way God rested from his. That word work isn't only about religious effort.

Heather Creekmore [00:18:03]:

It's about every form of self-salvation, every version of, if I can just figure out this well enough, if I can just do this right, then I'll finally be okay. But Hebrews says, stop laboring for what's already been finished and just rest in it instead. Paul, writing to Galatians, asks something almost ridiculous. He says, are you so foolish? Having begun by the Spirit, are you now being perfected in the flesh? Did you actually think you could finish by your own research, by your own effort? What only grace ever started? That's Sarah's trap, and that's my trap in one sentence. She began— we all begin in a place of being loved by grace. And then what happens? We quietly switch the engine to self-effort, as if right information could finish what only Christ began. Oh, thanks for your grace, Lord. Okay, now click, I'm gonna try harder and get it all right.

Heather Creekmore [00:19:07]:

And I can do it. Thanks. No. So what does this mean for you and your body and your body image practically? It means that the goal isn't to finally win the algorithm and find the influencer who's right and finally earn a body you can feel good about. It means resting in the truth that you're already fully known, fully loved, fully accepted in Christ, not because you found the correct plan and are doing it all right, But because of what Christ has already accomplished. And from that rested, secure place, that's where you make decisions. That's where you can make decisions about food and movement and how to care for your body. And you can stop trying to win an impossible contest and start being simple in this respect.

Heather Creekmore [00:20:05]:

You can ask God to help you. Ask him to lead you and guide you, friend. He created your body. Do you think he doesn't know how it works? Do you think he's unsure about whether or not you should eat more protein or less protein? Friend, like, we have AI now, and it's amazing in so many ways, but we have something even better than AI. Friend, you can go to the God of the universe who created you and everything around you and say, lead me, Lord. Show me how can I steward this body well. Show me what to do. And in seeking him, you can truly care for your body in a healthy and restful way.

Heather Creekmore [00:20:56]:

Instead of seeing your body as a project, that you're just desperately trying to fix so you can finally feel okay. And you're taking everyone's advice and you're just feeling confused and overwhelmed. Man, Jesus invites us into something else, which is rest. 2 Corinthians 3 says it beautifully. We with unveiled faces beholding the glory of the Lord are being transformed into his likeness. Notice the verb, not we are researching ourselves into transformation. Isn't that what a lot of us do all day long? No, we are being transformed. It's something that happens to you as you behold him, not something you're scrolling your way toward producing.

Heather Creekmore [00:21:42]:

That's rest-fueled change, not fear-fueled striving. And it's the only kind of change that actually lasts. Okay, so let's make this really practical because I never want to just give you a nice idea for you to think about. What actually inspires change is when we can take the next step and do something, not just think about something. Okay, so thing one, I think first you have to name the noise for what it is. Next time you are scrolling and you feel that familiar jolt of, I'm doing this wrong, should I be doing this? Uh-oh, is this actually right? And what I was thinking was right is wrong. I would just pause. And ask yourself, is this actually new trustworthy information, or is this just another reel? Is this just another voice competing for my attention and honestly kind of trying to make me feel behind or like I'm doing something wrong? You're allowed to let— ask that question before you decide to let that information in.

Heather Creekmore [00:22:48]:

You can be discerning. Not every influencer is created equally. Okay. Second, pick a few trusted voices and let that be enough. Friend, if you are spending, I'm gonna say more than 10 minutes a day scrolling reels from random people that the algorithm has served to you, you're not doing yourself any favors. You're just making everything more difficult and confusing. Instead, what I would do is pick just a few trusted voices and let that be enough. The whole internet doesn't have to consult you on what to eat for lunch.

Heather Creekmore [00:23:35]:

Find maybe a doctor you actually trust or a dietitian. I can name a few wisdom from people maybe you know in real life. Now there's a crazy idea. And give yourself permission to just stop there. Like, not knowing what everyone says about everything is not a loss, that's a gain. Closing the tab is not laziness, it's wisdom. Right. And third, replace the I'm gonna try harder prayer with a truer one.

Heather Creekmore [00:24:07]:

Instead of praying, God, help me finally figure out the right way to do this, Try this. God, I've been asking the right answer to give me the peace that only you can give. Will you be my peace instead? Will you be my leader, my influencer, my guide? God, will you show me what is true? Show me what is best for me and this body you created for me. Redirect where you're actually looking for rescue. You're not looking for rescue from finding the right reel. You're looking for rescue from the real God. Fourth, build actual— I'm going to call it scaffolding, not just resolve. Okay.

Heather Creekmore [00:24:54]:

So like I said, you can listen to this and be like, okay, yes, I'm determined. I'm going to do better. And what are you doing? You're just trying harder again, friend. Don't try harder to do what I'm telling you to do to not try harder. Does that make sense? Friend, you need to take some action here. You need some people in your life. If you don't have people in your life who can support you around these issues, then I, I invite you to join us on the next 40-day journey. It's not because I'm trying to sell you something, man.

Heather Creekmore [00:25:26]:

I'm offering it so cheap. It's $59. It's $10 a week. Like, you can't find counseling or coaching that cheap anywhere. But we do that because we want to give you community that can be your scaffolding for these issues, where you can go someplace and find a little grounding. You can have honest conversations with real women who are struggling in the same way you are, real women who maybe feel a little Awed or upset or frustrated because they couldn't do it on their own, because we all just want to do it on their own, but have decided humbly to come to community and admit they need some help. And friend, that's when the change happens. That's how change was designed to happen, in community.

Heather Creekmore [00:26:18]:

You're not struggling because you need more information. You're struggling because you're trying to sort a heart level ache with research problems tools. And what you need are people to tell you the truth, people to speak God's truth into your life, into these issues, into your struggles, people who can address these issues at a heart level, not a try harder, here's what you need to do level. And fifth, Practice starting from rest instead of striving. And before your next meal, before your next scroll, before your next attempt to— this week I'm gonna finally get it right, I'm gonna get myself together, it's September now, I'm gonna get all the things in order— I just, I want you to pause. I want you to stop. In fact, do it with me right now. Just take a nice big inhale and exhale.

Heather Creekmore [00:27:14]:

Inhale. Exhale. Maybe do that one more time. Inhale. Inhale. Inhale. Exhale. I think one third time will help you really calm down.

Heather Creekmore [00:27:24]:

Inhale. Exhale. Oh man, we all need to just tell our bodies they're safe and calm them down. And then pray this prayer. I already have your rest, Lord. I'm not doing this to earn my worth. I already have it in you. And then make your choice.

Heather Creekmore [00:27:44]:

You can make a practical, ordinary choice. Any single choice is not life or death. You can take the same action perhaps you were going to take before, but take it from a completely different posture, from a posture of, I'm enough because I'm enough through what Christ did. I'm okay because of Jesus. I'm safe and I can do this from a place of rest because getting this right or wrong does not determine My acceptance. So let's go back to our friend Sarah one more time. Her turning point wasn't finding that one content creator who finally had the right answers. It was one ordinary evening with her phone in hand, about to open that app one more time to see what new rules she could add to her life.

Heather Creekmore [00:28:43]:

But instead, she just sat there. And she asked herself this question: What am I actually looking for right now? And the honest answer was she wanted someone, anyone, to tell her she was already okay without having to earn it first. She still opened the app that night, if you're wondering. This isn't a story about instant willpower. Remember, we said willpower, it's not effective. But she said that was the first time in years that she'd asked the real question Instead of chasing one more piece of advice. And asking that question over and over, over the course of months, is what actually started to change something. Not overnight, not perfectly, but for real.

Heather Creekmore [00:29:31]:

Our coaches were able to help Sarah get through all the noise, examine the actions she always takes. And get to the heart of the issue. And that's what we'd love to do for you too. The best way to get started is with our 40-day journey. It starts September 14th. And friend, this is just really your chance to start looking at the heart issues beneath all of the issues you've perhaps been trying to solve with information, tips, and advice from the internet. Friend, let's, let's cut through all that noise and get real. And oh, by the way, in case you're worried, Sarah's name has been changed.

Heather Creekmore [00:30:18]:

So we do protect the privacy of all of our clients. So, hey friend, as we close today, I just want you to hear this. You're not behind. You're not missing something. More information is not going to solve anything in the long run. If you're looking for these other wells to satisfy, it just never works. So turn to the only one who does and approach even your body change goals. It's not bad to have body change goals, but approach them from a place of rest, from a place of enoughness, from a place of peace, from a place of security.

Heather Creekmore [00:31:05]:

And tune out all of those clamoring, competing voices that are just keeping you striving and chasing and confused. If this episode landed for you, man, I'd love to hear about it. Drop me a note, [email protected], and tell me what you thought of it. I would also just be honored if you'd consider leaving a review of the show. Those reviews are what help other people find the show, and I can see my data, and I know I've got We've got thousands and thousands of you listening and not that many reviews. So if you would just take a moment and leave a review, that would bless us so much. Also consider sharing it with a friend who you know is also exhausted and trying to keep up with 100 contradictory voices as well. Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for someone else is just give them permission to close the app.

Heather Creekmore [00:31:57]:

Until next time, friend, you're not a project to be perfected. You're a person who's deeply already loved. Loved more than you can know. I hope you'll stop comparing and start living. Bye-bye.