What to Do if You Feel Like the Fattest Person in the Room? [Podcast Transcript]

Title: What to Do if You Feel Like the Fattest Person in the Room?

Podcast Date: May 30, 2025

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Description

Have you ever felt like you were the fattest or ugliest person in the room? Maybe you showed up at an event and feel self-conscious because everyone is smaller or better looking than you. It's happened to all of us, but there is a way, from scripture to handle the emotions and thought spirals that come when we have this feeling. Today, Christian body image coach and author, Heather Creekmore walks us through a biblical approach to thinking about our bodies, our purpose, and what to do when those "I'm the biggest person in the room" thoughts overwhelm you.

Learn more about Compared to Who? by visiting: Https://www.improvebodyimage.com

The 40-Day Body Image Workbook: https://www.improvebodyimage.com/40-Day-Body-Image-Workbook-Christian

The 40 Day Journey (starts week of June 16): https://www.improvebodyimage.com/40-day-challenge

Transcript

Disclaimer: This transcript is AI-generated and has not been edited for accuracy or clarity.

[00:00:02]:

Life audio. Hey, front. Heather Creekmore here. Thanks for listening to the compare to podcast today. Today's topic is important because there is a good chance you felt this way. I know I have. In fact, this topic came up in our team meeting this week. It was so ironic because I had actually been thinking about this topic while playing pickleball the week before.

[00:00:32]:

And the topic is, what do you do when you feel like you're the fattest person in the room? What do you do when you feel like your body is larger than everyone else's body out there on that pickleball court? What do you do if you're headed into a scenario with friends or maybe even with people you don't know or meeting a church or something, and you just know you're gonna be the biggest one. What do you do with the thoughts and feelings you have around that? That's where we're going today. I'm so glad you're here for it, friend. And, hey, I wanna encourage you. Right? There's so much hope to be free from body image issues. We start another forty day journey in just a few weeks on June. You can choose to participate either Tuesday nights or Wednesdays at lunchtime. We've never offered it on Wednesday before.

[00:01:22]:

So if you're the person that's been like, Tuesdays didn't work for me, and Mondays didn't work for me. We're gonna try Wednesday. So Wednesdays at lunchtime, Tuesday evenings, and we'd love to have you join us. You can go to improvebodyimage.com and find out all about it. It's super affordable. Hey. What if this summer is your chance to do things in a new way? You've tried to diet away your body image issues. You've tried to exercise away your body image issues.

[00:01:48]:

Try a new way. Let's try to address your heart and see what happens. Hey. I hope you'll join us. Now let's get to today's episode. Okay. So let's just be real here. I think every person has felt this way at some point or another.

[00:02:16]:

You have felt like you are losing the beauty contest, And it may be specific to you feel like you are the largest person in the room, the fattest person in the room. You've got a bigger body than everyone else. Maybe something else. You may just feel like you're the average one or the below average one in the group of beauty queens. There's other ways to translate this issue. But for most of us that have faced this, it's not comfortable. It's not fun. And it can be downright mentally tormenting.

[00:02:53]:

Like, we can miss whatever it is opportunity we have. Right? Whether it's a dinner with friends where you feel this way or, an event, a meeting, a conference maybe you go to for the weekend. Like, it can be anything. It could be your own wedding. Okay? It could be your baby shower. It could be your birthday party. There are so many different places and scenarios where this sneaky little insidious thought comes in, and it whispers to you, you're the fattest one here. Did you notice that? And all of a sudden, let's just be honest, you feel like you're losing.

[00:03:35]:

Like, it was a competition, and you've lost, and you don't like losing. And it's awkward. And you know that one little thought comes and you think about it more, you think about it more, and then you think, oh, is everyone else thinking about this? Is everyone else secretly in their head thinking that I'm the biggest one here? And the answer is no. They're not. They're thinking about themselves. Okay. But I know that you have that thought. I know that you've had that fear.

[00:04:05]:

And for some of you listening, it's just perception. It's just your body dysmorphic disorder. Right? There's a chance that you might not actually be that person, but you feel like that person just the same. And then for others of us, no. It's reality. Right? If we're gonna do everyone's measurements, you would be the biggest. Boom. There it is.

[00:04:29]:

Either way, my friend, there's hope. There is something you can do when you find yourself in this scenario, and that's where we're going today. So what do you do? Well, I think you're WWJD. Okay. Some of you that are over 40 know what that stands for. What would Jesus do? What would Jesus do if he felt like he was the fattest person in the room? Now first of all, like, it's kind of a ridiculous thing to even think, and so I don't really mean it directly in that way. Right? But here's what I want us to think about. I want us to think about a beautiful passage in scripture, which is Philippians two.

[00:05:14]:

And I'm gonna read it for you, just at least the first part for you right now. And the title or the, like, subheading in my Bible, in the English standard version, says this, Christ's example of humility. So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit. But in humility, count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves which is yours in Christ Jesus, who though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped. But he emptied himself by taking the form of a servant being born in the likeness of men and being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

[00:06:23]:

Therefore, God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name so that at the name of Jesus, every knee should bow in heaven and on earth and under the earth and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God, the father. Friend, WWJD, what did Jesus do? Well, he humbled himself. Right? Jesus is, was, is God. And he chose to set aside his glory to come and make himself human and not just any human. Right? To make himself come as a servant. Right? He didn't come as a king. In fact, the book of Isaiah tells us he didn't even come as someone who's good looking. Right? So Jesus didn't come using all of the conventional, I would say, methods or tools or tactics that we would use to try to make ourselves stand out, to try to make ourselves seem great.

[00:07:36]:

Like, Jesus put aside his deity. He didn't lose his deity. He remained God. Fully God and fully man is what we believe, but he put that aside and came to be like us. Now isn't it interesting that this is Jesus's example, and yet what we often do when we gather together and I don't know that we're conscious of it. Right? These are protective mechanisms. But we try to figure out ways to make ourselves great. We go into a scenario and we try to figure out why we belong, what we've done to deserve a place there, how we can fit in, and we think about our own greatness.

[00:08:23]:

Like, what do I have to offer? You know, maybe it's at work. I have to offer the fact that I'm smart and I'm creative. Right? Sometimes, those of us with body image issues and eating disorder issues especially, we have learned that the biggest thing that we have to contribute, the most valuable thing we have to offer is the way we look, is the size of our bodies, is the appearance of our bodies. And so what happens for us is we show up in these scenarios, and we think I'm here. Here's what I have to offer. It's this. Now this becomes incredibly hard, my friend. Listen to me as you age.

[00:09:03]:

Right? Because if you did that through your teens and twenties and you were just a cute little little thing, maybe even into your thirties, you get to your forties or fifties, and you're no longer a cute little thing because now you're a middle aged woman. Oh, man. It hurts because you're used to showing up and just being and here I am. And maybe that thing that you thought you contributed, your physical presence is no longer as valuable anymore. Or maybe you've never had that. Maybe for you, you've always just been the biggest one in the room. Maybe you've craved that. Maybe you thought, oh, it'd be so great to just show up and be the cute one, be the thin one.

[00:09:44]:

You know, I did a blog post. Actually, a contributor of mine wrote a blog post years and years ago called I don't wanna be the fat friend. And that post always performed well because it resonated with so many women. No one wants to be the fat friend. I know I used to love the show Lucy. I love Lucy. And, like, no one wanna be Ethel. You wanna be Lucy.

[00:10:06]:

Right? No one wants to be the the heavyset sidekick. You wanna be the star. And that's what our culture teaches. Right? That's where our culture teaches that life is, that joy is, that peace is, that rest is. Like, our culture teaches that that is that's making it, that's arriving. But Philippians two teaches something else. It teaches us that Jesus models something for us called humility. And, Fred, every time we can keep humility as our focus, every time we can stay focused on that reality of how do I think of others' interests more than myself, how do I set aside my vain conceit, my selfish ambition? How do I set that aside to think of others? Friend, like, that unlocks it all.

[00:10:55]:

When you can walk in a room and think more about others than you think about yourself, that's when you've arrived. That's when you find freedom. Now it goes deeper than this. It's not just humility. I think God has another beautiful purpose in the way we should all look at how we relate to groups and how it all works together. And I'm gonna get right back to that after this really quick break. So that's that Philippians passage. Right? One of the things that I noticed in here is that Paul repeatedly says, have the same mind.

[00:11:33]:

Have the same love. Be in full accord. Be of one mind. Right? He is encouraging them to be unified. Right? And the biggest threat to unity is our pride. Right? So back to verse three. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility, count others more significant than yourself. Right? He is once again saying, hey, don't try to be the star.

[00:12:01]:

Don't try to be the standout person because that's not what the Christian life is about. The Christian life is about unity. The Christian life is about you all working together to get this, to make a beautiful body. Right? So it's so opposite of culture because culture tells you you have to work alone to get a beautiful body. Right? You can work alone, get a beautiful body, and then you're a standout person. Right? Then you're fantastic. Then you go into that room and you no longer worry about being the largest person in the room because you are you are the it girl. Right? But scripture teaches us that our goal is to be part of a beautiful body, the beautiful body of Christ, that we're each given talents and skills and gifts and passions.

[00:12:53]:

Right? So that we can meld together, work together, and create this beautiful body that will serve God and love others well. And if we can do that in unity, then wow, it's beautiful and it works and it sings. And that is supposed to what be what is attractive, appealing. Like, that is the beautiful fragrance of the gospel that we can share and spread everywhere. And so our problem becomes self focus. Our problem becomes concern over who I am on my own alone. I'm not good enough. I don't like how I look compared to how everyone else looks.

[00:13:48]:

I don't feel like I'm a winner. I don't feel like I'm above these people or even on par with these people. I just wanna stand out. I just I just want a little smidge of glory. Right? I don't wanna steal Jesus' glory. I just want a little smidge of glory. I just wanna feel better about myself. I just wanna feel good about myself.

[00:14:06]:

My friend, that's just not in the Bible. I hate to say that, but it's just true. We've been really lied to over the last several decades. That self esteem and self confidence are these things that we should chase apart from what scripture has to say about who we are and what we were made for. And this concept of self, if you actually read your Bible, this concept of self is always diminished. We are always supposed to be in unity, in harmony. We're supposed to be part of, like I said, this beautiful body of Christ. Right? Self love, not a good thing according to scripture.

[00:14:51]:

Right? Even though all the there's even Christian body image people that'll help you find more self love. Well, self love is not your way out. So if you walk into that room and you feel like you're the biggest person there, here's what I think you need to do. I think first you have to remember w it's easy for me to say, w w j d. You are more than just a body. Okay? You do have something to contribute. God made you on purpose for his purpose. You have value aside from what culture says about the way your body looks or how your body is shaped or how you take up space.

[00:15:33]:

That is not how God sees you or how God defines you. But second and equally as important is you're part of a bigger, beautiful body. You have something to contribute as a part of this beautiful body of Christ. Right? So, yeah, if you feel like you're a big toe just standing out there on your own, it's because you need to find the rest of the foot and the hands and the legs. You need to find a body to connect to. You know, it's interesting. Science is showing over and over again, right, that community is a key to health. Right? It is, like, more dangerous for you not to be in community in terms of, like, facing an earlier death.

[00:16:20]:

It's more dangerous for you not to be in community than it is for you to smoke a pack of cigarettes a day. That's from science. Scripture tells us over and over again, we need community. If Jesus needed 12 people, you need at least two or three. And I don't mean Facebook friends. I mean, in real life friends. And when you have community, when you have people, when you have friends, then you can start to see how, first of all, you are accepted and loved regardless of how your body looks. But second, you can also see how you function as a part of the body.

[00:16:58]:

Like, maybe you're the helper. Maybe you're the one with faith who, like, prays when everyone else is stressing out. Maybe you're the administrator. Like, you can organize the event better than anyone. Right? Remember those gifts and talents that God gave you. He does not want to waste them. Why is your body bigger than everyone else's? I don't know. I don't know.

[00:17:24]:

Is it that the people around you struggle with eating disorders? Or they're just built differently? They have different genetics? Like, I don't know why your body is bigger than everyone else's or why you feel like your body is bigger than everyone else's if that's where you're at. But here's what I know. God isn't cheating you. God has a good plan and purpose for your life. God isn't mad at you. God doesn't devalue you because you're the biggest person in the room. He wants you to love him and love others, and you can do that no matter what size your body is. And then here's the reality, Fran.

[00:18:12]:

When you get really good at that, when you start loving God at primary focus, you start loving others well. You walk into those rooms, and you're not thinking about what people think of you anymore. You're thinking, who can I love? Who needs me? Like, God, send me to the person who's lonely. Send me to the person who's hurting. Show me who I need to talk to. God, I am here as your ambassador. Empty me of all of the selfish things I wanna think about me. Empty me of the me because the me gets yicky and the me gets conceited and the me is focused on the me.

[00:18:46]:

But show me how to focus on you and them. And then you walk in there and you know what happens, front? You become the most beautiful person in the room. I'm not saying you're trying to do that when you're in that posture, but there is nothing more attractive than someone who loves Jesus and loves others well. That's a person that's, like, magnetic that you just wanna be with. You're like, can I just spend more time with you? You make me feel so good when I'm around you. I love being with you. Show me your ways. And that's so much more contagious, friend, than if you just go drop some pounds.

[00:19:23]:

Right? That's not what makes someone beautiful in reality, and, also, that's what the Bible tells us too. My final thought for you on this is I I want you to hear clearly. I'm not shaming you for feeling those feelings. I understand. Oh, friend. I I mean, I showed this in my book compared to who. I used every room I walked into, I would decide what how I rated if I was the biggest or the smallest or somewhere in between and who was ahead of me and who was I understand. So please here, I'm not shaming you for those feelings.

[00:19:58]:

But it's important to recognize where those feelings and thoughts come from, and they don't come from the Lord. It's not God shaming and condemning you. And for some of you, that's hard to believe. Maybe because God has sounded a whole lot like mom or dad, and mom or dad would constantly shame you for the way you looked or your body size. But God's not condemning you for being the biggest person in the room. That is the enemy of your soul. It is not God who's telling you, run away. Never go back there again.

[00:20:31]:

You're too big to be friends with them. That's not the Lord who loves you and has a good plan and purpose for you. So, friend, you have to understand that some of our body image battles, a lot of our body image battles, are spiritual warfare. Right? The enemy wants to take you out. He wants to get you to hide or he wants to get you so focused and obsessed on trying to change your body that you can't do anything effective for him because you're so busy trying to lose weight and change what your body looks like. And, friend, I've lived that too, so no shame or condemnation there. But he has more for you to do than that. So get after it.

[00:21:11]:

Tell the devil to take a hike. Tell the devil to go to hell. He you do not have to listen to him. You do not have to live in the shame and condemnation that's rolling in your head. And this is where taking thoughts captive can certainly be helpful. This is also we're using a Philippians four eight filter. I talk about this in my 40 body image workbook. You can join us in the forty day journey, and you get to dig into this deep.

[00:21:36]:

But the Philippians four eight filter Philippians four eight says, finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. And using that as your filter for your thought life, like, am I thinking about things that are true, just, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, worthy of praise, or am I just thinking really horrible, negative, crazy, ridiculous thoughts about my self? Am I just being mean to myself? Am I speaking to myself in a way that no one would ever actually speak to me, but I'm just being cruel to myself? Friend, there's no biblical justification for that. Like, you're not gonna shame yourself into changing your body. It just doesn't work that way. The enemy tries to make you think it does. Right? But it's God's kindness that leads us to repentance. Right? So if there's if you have got an issue with the Lord, yeah, repent. Go to him.

[00:22:34]:

Ask for forgiveness. But friend, you don't have to shame and condemn yourself. So what do you do if you feel like you're the biggest woman in the room? If you feel like you're the ugliest one in the room? Friend, you remember that you are already completely accepted, worthy, justified, washed clean, righteous in Jesus alone. And there is nothing you can do to add to what he did for you. You can't lose enough weight to make yourself worthy of what he did for you. You can't clean up your diet enough to make yourself worthy of what he did for you. He did it for you because he loves you, not you in a broad general way, but you specifically, my friend. He loves you, and he wants you.

[00:23:28]:

He wants all of you. And so you remember how securely you are loved in him, and you show up and you tell those thoughts to go to hell, and you say, thank you, Lord, that even if I feel alone here, I have you. Thank you, Lord, that you've put me here on purpose for a purpose. Lord, show me what your purpose is for me in this group, even though I don't feel like I'm winning here. Lord, help me redefine winning to be living for you. Because isn't that really the truth, Fran? Like, we're so so, just likely to define winning the way culture defines winning, which is being the prettiest person in the room, being the thinnest person in the room. But that's not how God defines success. That's not what it's like to win in the life of a Christ follower.

[00:24:23]:

Change your definition. Take those thoughts captive. See the spiritual warfare. Remember, your identity is in Christ, not in your jean size. And, Fran, feel confident to live for him. No matter what you got going on on the outside, that's what he wants from you. He wants you to live for him. And when you get after that, you'll be amazed at how much freer you can feel.

[00:24:51]:

Hey. If you're struggling, join us on the forty day journey. We start June 17, June eighteenth. We'd love to see you there. I hope we can encourage you in that journey. Six weeks all in, $49. There's no better bargain. We should really charge more, but it's like six weeks of coaching for less than $50, friend.

[00:25:07]:

I hope you'll join us there. Summer might be the perfect time for you to get free. And I hope this has encouraged you today. I really do. Hey. We've all felt this way, but there is hope. And the Bible's answers are the answers. So thanks for listening.

[00:25:25]:

I hope something today has helped you stop comparing and start living. Bye bye. The Compare To Podcast is probably part of the Life Audio Podcast Network from our great Christian podcast, go to lifeaudio.com. Hey. Have you left a review of the show yet? If this show has encouraged you, friend, I need your reviews. That's how Apple decides what shows to show to new people. So would you just stop right now and leave a review wherever you listen to podcasts? That would bless us so much. Thanks for considering.