What if I Just Want a Body I'm Proud of? [Podcast Transcript]

Title: What if I Just Want a Body I'm Proud of? 

Podcast Date: June 17, 2025

Listen Here: 

Description

In this summer replay, Heather digs into this common sentiment, "I just want to feel good" or "I just want to feel okay" about my body. What's wrong with wanting a body you can be "proud of?"

She explores how this is a struggle for many women who wrestle to feel confident about their bodies. They don't want to look like supermodels. Instead, they want to feel okay to be in the skin they're in.

But what is this desire to have a body that you can feel good in or good about? Could the core of this issue be something you'd never expect? Heather digs into an unusual biblical concept, that is, boasting. Not that we want to tell other people that we are great, but instead, perhaps we want our bodies to tell our story for us. Do we want our bodies to tell everyone who sees us that we know how to take care of our bodies well? That we know the secrets to fitness or weight loss? Or, that we are just really good at making our bodies look their best? It's a concept few of us have spent a lot of time thinking about it.

Heather walks through some fantastic teaching on the topic of boasting taken from Romans 3:27-31 and shows us how we can find a place to boast that is far better than the appearance or weight of our bodies.

Anything you look at and say, "This is where my value is," can become an idol. Listen, be encouraged and exhorted today.

Listen to the Tim Keller sermon that Heather references here: https://gospelinlife.com/sermon/boasting-and-faith/

Learn more about Compared to Who? by visiting: Https://www.improvebodyimage.com

The 40-Day Body Image Workbook: https://www.improvebodyimage.com/40-Day-Body-Image-Workbook-Christian

The 40 Day Journey (starts week of June 16): https://www.improvebodyimage.com/40-day-challenge

Transcript

Disclaimer: This transcript is AI-generated and has not been edited for accuracy or clarity.

[00:00:02]:

Life audio. Hey, friends. Heather Creekmore here. I'm glad you're listening to the Compare To Who show today. Today, I'm in preacher mode. I'll just give you a heads up. I am fired up on this topic I just learned more about. And let me just tell you I I don't wanna give it away.

[00:00:23]:

I want you to listen. But so so many of you over the years have said, Heather, I'm not looking to look like a model. Like, I'm not trying to be a magazine cover. I just wanna feel good in my body. I just wanna be able to feel okay with the way my body looks. Is that so wrong? Like, why can't that be my goal to just feel good, feel okay about my body? That doesn't seem like a bad goal, and I always say, no. It doesn't seem like a bad goal, but what's missing? Oh, friend. I found out what's missing, and that's where we're going today.

[00:01:01]:

And it is mind blowing. So I hope you have your Bible. I want you to look up these scriptures. You guys, this is truth. This is God's truth. I am inspired by pastor Tim Keller who passed away just recently. But he did some really good work on this. I have the original sermon that fired me up linked in the podcast show notes.

[00:01:22]:

You can listen to it. Y'all, it's good stuff. Share this with a friend. Talk to a friend about this. Do not process this alone. For today, I wanna tackle a very common question, sentiment, statement I hear thrown around a lot when I talk to friends and coaching clients. And that sentiment is this. I just want to feel good about my body.

[00:02:07]:

I just wanna feel good in my body. I want to feel like my body is okay. This is such a common sentiment. But I first need to point out that I hear this same sentiment from women who have bodies of all different sizes. I have women I talk to who are recovering from anorexia and at a very low weight, and women who are in their late forties, fifties, sixties, fighting a battle of of weight gain or feeling frustrated about the size of their body at this point in life. And then women of all sizes and all ages in between. And for us, I hear this over and over and over again. Heather, I just want to feel good about my body.

[00:03:00]:

And it's interesting. Right? Because the belief is the same among all of them. Right? Like, pretend you're kinda standing right in the middle of this group. Like, you can look to the right at all the women that maybe are at a higher weight than you are, And you can say, yeah. Okay. Maybe I can understand how they don't feel good in their bodies because I don't feel good about my body. But then you look to the left at all the women at a lower weight than you, and you think, oh, but if I was like them, I would feel good in my body. I'd feel I'd feel confident about my body.

[00:03:32]:

I'd feel okay with my body. Really wouldn't worry about my body anymore. But, friend, no matter where you are on that spectrum, recognize that it's the same struggle. There are people smaller than you who are struggling to feel confident about their body, and there are people larger than you struggling to feel confident about their body. Maybe the struggle has absolutely nothing to do with the size of your body. So what is this desire? What is this longing? What is this dream of having a body that you feel like someday you could feel good in? This is gonna be a little bit of a twist for you, but follow me here. I think the core of it is our desire to boast. Now let me be real clear real fast.

[00:04:22]:

I don't believe for a second that any of us want to actually tell other people how successful we are at managing our bodies or controlling our body size. I don't think any of us want to use words and actually boast with our mouths to other people what a great job we're doing getting our bodies to turn out just how we want them to. Right? That's not what I mean when I talk about boasting, and And that's not really what I mean when I talk about the dream of feeling good in our bodies. But I think this is where it gets a little muddy. I think our desire to feel good in our bodies does connect to the boasting In that, we want our bodies, the way our bodies look, to do the boasting for us. We wanna be able to be completely quiet and have our bodies tell a story, be a testimony to our hard work, our discipline, our determination, our self control. And I'm using that word in quotes because I don't think it means what a lot of us say it means. We want our bodies to be a business card that tells the world how great we are at food management or exercise management or body management.

[00:05:48]:

Recently, I was listening to an amazing Tim Keller sermon on boasting. I almost didn't listen to it because I like boasting. I don't have a problem with boasting. But I'll put the link in the show notes. And when Keller started talking about boasting, I was like, oh, ding ding ding. This is what we're doing when we have a body image idol. Keller talks about it in such an interesting way. He's actually teaching on Romans three twenty seven to 31.

[00:06:17]:

So I'm gonna read you the scripture first. It goes like this. Then what becomes of our boasting? It is excluded. By what kind of law? By law of works? No. But by law of faith. For we hold that one is justified by faith apart from works of the law. Or is God the God of Jews only? Is he not the God of Gentiles also? Yes. Of Gentiles also.

[00:06:40]:

So since God is one, who will justify the circumcised by faith and the uncircumcised through faith? Do we then overthrow the law by this faith? By no means. On the contrary, we uphold the law. What in the world is that? You know what? In the sermon, he doesn't really break it down verse by verse. But he's talking generally about boasting and who can boast. And he's kind of throwing out there, like, can the Gentiles boast? Should it be the Jews that boast? Like, what are we boasting in? Are we boasting in our circumcision? Are we boasting in our faith? Are we boasting in faith and circumcision? And he's kinda throwing out this muddy mess around boasting. And so let me go through what Keller teaches on this because it's really good. I'm gonna share it all with you right after this quick break. The first point that Keller's trying to make is that boasting conceptually is something that all human hearts want to do.

[00:07:44]:

He talks about how ritualistically throughout the ages from ancient times, boasting has been a thing. The leaders of military armies would rile up their men to go into battle. How'd they do it? Through boasting. Maybe a modern day example of this would be like trash talk that happens before a sporting event. Like, we're gonna take you down. Your defense is weak. Like, that sort of thing. Boasting and trash talk.

[00:08:12]:

They fire up the team. They fire up the troops to go get it done. It's like a boost of confidence that allows them to do a really hard thing because they're all hyped up. And Keller talks about this desire to boast as a sickness that affects every human heart. He tells the story of Gideon. How, if you remember, Gideon had this army that had gathered to defeat the Midianites, and it was too big. And God kept, like, shrinking the army and shrinking the army. In fact, he had him do some silly things.

[00:08:46]:

Like, he tested how the men drank water from the river and, you know, some of them lapped it up and, like, shrunk the army even more. Like, half the men went away because he wanted the army to be small before they fought the Midianites. Why did God do this? He says because he didn't want Israel to say it was them. It was their army that defeated the Midianites. God wanted credit. He did not want them to be tempted to take the credit for themselves. God wanted to get all the glory for the victory. And the challenge with every human heart, the sickness that Keller talks about, is that at some level, we all wanna be able to do it on our own.

[00:09:30]:

I think of, like, the three year old, that stage that preschoolers go through. It's the I do it or me do it. No help. No help. Like, that stage where they obviously still need help, and yet they don't want anyone to help them get dressed or pour their cereal or put their shoes on. And so the kid ends up spilling cereal all over or in a tangled shirt or with shoes on the wrong feet, but at least they did it themselves. Like, friends, that's us. We all want to believe we are good enough.

[00:10:01]:

We are strong enough. And God says the problem is in our hearts. We look at our intelligence, our beauty, our talents, our achievements. We'll get anything good about ourselves, and we take credit for it. And we say, I did that, and that is a problem. That is a heart sickness. And that's the problem with boasting. That's the problem with wanting our bodies to be our business cards.

[00:10:26]:

That's the problem with wanting body change so that we can have confidence. We really want to say, I did that. I stuck to the diet. I stuck to the fitness plan. I followed all the rules. I did all the things. And we wanna be able to prove to other people that we did it. We want other people to see that we're good enough, we're smart enough.

[00:10:50]:

We want a reason to boast. And Keller says, this is sickness because of ingratitude. He spells it out that all of our talents, our beauty, our intelligence, our health, anything that you can think of about yourself that you could boast in, It's a gift from God. Scripture tells us it's not of our own doing. Right? Every gift, every attribute is from the Lord. I think of that verse that says, god gives and takes away. Who are we to think that we've done it ourselves or made it ourselves or take glory in our selves for our own achievements. Now these are gifts.

[00:11:44]:

Gifts we're to be grateful for. Tim Keller goes on to quote Jeremiah nine twenty three. It talks about, let not the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasting boast about this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord for exercise kindness, justice, and righteousness on the earth. For in these things, I delight, says the Lord. Jeremiah is saying that every soul wants to boast about something. Every soul is looking for something to boast in. Athletic ability, beauty, ability to stick to a food plan, intelligence, creativity, wealth, fashion sense. Whatever you have that you look at yourself and you say, this is why I'm valuable.

[00:12:24]:

This is why I'm worthy of love. This is why I'm worthy of applause and cheering and praise. This is my glory. This is my significance. This is my value. I've accomplished this. Friend, that's a heartsickness. Kelly goes on to say something really profound then.

[00:12:41]:

He says, ready for this? He says, we need this. He says, just like the guys going into battle, the world is a battlefield. Every single day, you're criticized. You're attacked. You're opposed. So in order to move into the world with confidence, you actually do need some boasting. You need a pep talk about why you're good enough and smart enough. Like, this is how we as humans battle.

[00:13:06]:

We figure out our credentials and we prepare to stand on these laurels as our armor for the battle of life. We say, look, I'm a good steward of my body. Just look at my body and you'll see that. Or maybe you say, look, I'm a good parent. Look at my children. Look, I'm a good worker. Look what I've accomplished at work. And Keller says that every single soul looks to something and says, that's mine.

[00:13:28]:

That's the reason I'm strong enough. This is how I will defend myself. But then Keller talks about how every boast is a taunt. Just like in the sports example I used earlier where one team says, we're gonna take you down. It riles up that team, but it also riles up who? It riles up the other team. It's a taunt to the other team that may fire them up too. And Keller talks about how these kinds of taunts, especially when we do this with our beauty or intelligence or money or success, they're super dangerous because, in short, they divide us. These taunts lead to divisions and conflict.

[00:14:04]:

They lead to pride. You're saying, see, I've worked hard, and I have this body to brag about. You don't. So I feel better than you. And if I feel better than you, then truth is in my heart, I disdain you. I'm not loving you well. I'm separating myself from you. I'm villainizing you.

[00:14:21]:

I'm dividing boasting in this thing. And this is one of the biggest dangers in boasting in and of ourselves. We will never be loving others well when we do it. We will be causing divisions based on whatever we've deemed is the standard to boast on. So Keller goes on to talk about what the antidote is for a boasting. And here he goes back to Romans. He references Romans two twenty five where Paul is talking about circumcision. And Paul is talking about how you can do the physical act of circumcision hoping to get praised, hoping to get lauded for this, like, religious act that, well, it's probably not visible to others, but I guess they made it known that they had been circumcised.

[00:15:14]:

But what God really asks us to do is not to engage in these rituals that everyone can praise and laud. God asks us to circumcise our hearts. And Paul says that, like, if we're getting praise from men, if that's what we're living for, it's not getting we want praise from God, not praise from men. And so according to Keller, Paul talks about how, like, this is how everyone lives. Right? Every, quote, unquote, normal person lives to get their praise from men. This is part of the human sinful condition is we are programmed to want praise from men, to have other people praise us. But the distinction between a, quote, unquote, normal person, someone living their lives for themselves, for the world, and the believer and follower of Jesus Christ, the distinction is where you want your praise from. The believer wants their praise from God, not from men.

[00:16:18]:

And I appreciate where Keller goes next because he makes this really important point. And if you just heard what if you heard what he just said, like, that might kinda like, oh, I don't know that I can ever do that. I really need the praise of men. And Keller talks about how Paul is not a stoic. That's Keller's line. And I love this because he says, it's not that you shouldn't want or need everyone else's praise. He's like, that's very rational. Like, that's the way we're wired.

[00:16:49]:

But Keller points out that whenever you hear someone say, you don't need anyone else's praise. Just like love yourself, praise yourself. He talks about how that's just as bad. And I think about the body positivity movement. Right? It teaches that. Alright. Just applaud yourself. Just think of how beautiful and awesome you are, and then you'll be free from embodiment issues.

[00:17:07]:

Like, don't worry about getting praise and approval from other people. Just praise and approve of yourself. But that doesn't work either. And what Paul is saying is, yes. Of course, we need applause. We're all thirsty for praise and admiration. We all need it. And Keller says, like, it just makes sense.

[00:17:27]:

Right? Because life is a battlefield, so we need that rallying cry. We need that boost of confidence. We need that praise so that we can go into the battlefield of life confidently. But what Paul says is absolutely don't build your identity on praising and cheering for yourself. That's gonna fall flat. Some of you have tried it. You know it. He says don't build it on other people praising you because we've all tried that too.

[00:17:58]:

Right? Like, oh, what of a horrible life it is to be waiting for other people to approve of you or to compliment you. Right? It's so insecure feeling when you are constantly waiting to make sure you receive the praise of others. Right? What Paul's saying is build your identity in Jesus. Allow his approval to be what justifies you. In other words, what you really crave and the only antidote, the only thing that can actually cure us from wanting the applause of everyone or even wanting the applause of ourselves is feeling the applause of God. Now I think about how when I talk to coaching clients about approval, it's often that they can't even identify whose approval they want. It's like they know that they need approval, and it's like this amorphous concept. And we try to figure out, okay.

[00:18:50]:

Well, who who is it? And they're like, well, I don't know. Everyone or me? I just want the approval of myself. And yet it's never enough. Even if everyone in their life is cheering for them, even if they feel like they're doing okay themselves, it's never enough. We can never get enough approval from outside sources or from ourselves to satisfy us. And Keller talks about the problem of this being that if we get the applause and approval that we think will fill us, what actually happens is we get puffed up, and then we become a slave to that approval. We must have it or else we feel life is empty and void. We hate ourselves.

[00:19:31]:

There's no reason to live if no one's approving of us. It literally becomes our oxygen. And so he says, there's only one kind of approval and praise that does not puff us up. As Keller says, there's only one kind of approval and praise you cannot lose, and it actually heals you instead of rotting at your soul. And that's the praise of God. And Keller actually goes on to quote CS Lewis here. So I'm just gonna read this to you because it's really beautiful. He says, the minute you begin to understand that in Christ, you have God's applause, God's praise, God's thunderous affirmation, adoration, honor, and acclamation.

[00:20:12]:

It not only and by grace, by grace through what Christ has done, not on the basis of your performance. On the one hand, that destroys your inferiority complex. But on the other hand, it humbles you, and it drowns your pride. You need to have that. You need to walk around with that inner applause going all the time. That's how you can handle the world. That's how you get out there. See, that's how you have the motivation to go.

[00:20:45]:

But on the other hand, it's got to be God's approval. It's got to be God's applause because only that kind of applause will not distort you. It will not rot you. It will not puff you up. Only that kind of applause you can never lose. Only that kind of applause both humbles you and builds you up at the same time with no taint of what we would call self approval. We can rejoice in the thing that God has made us to be. And at the moment it heals that old inferiority complex forever, it will also be the moment that drowns our pride.

[00:21:24]:

Keller goes on to reference Galatians six fourteen where Paul talks about boasting again. This time he says, may I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom the world has been crucified to me and I to the world. The cross is what we boast in, my friends. This is God's upside down kingdom. This is a completely different way of looking at what it takes to make me feel good. Right? Culture is telling us, if you wanna feel good, change your body. Lose a couple pounds, you'll feel good. And then we get all the physical messages mixed up into that.

[00:21:57]:

Like, yeah, I really would feel better. If I could just lose a couple pounds. Like, oh, yeah. Okay. That's what I need to feel good. But in God's upside down kingdom, body confidence doesn't come that way. I don't wanna take confidence in my body or how I've made my body look or have lost the weight or how I've reshaped myself. Instead, in God's upside down kingdom, the grip of the world, those messages from our culture are weakened.

[00:22:25]:

The world is demoted. Its opinion is not as important as it used to be. Instead, what's important is the cross. And Keller talks about how grounding our identity in what we do or what we look like is just living by the world's economy. The world says, unless you have this kind of body, unless you have beauty like this, you have nothing. And if we believe it, that gives the world power in our lives. And then if you lose what the world says you need to have, you are nothing. You feel like nothing.

[00:22:59]:

You feel lost. You don't have any identity. You don't have any confidence. You've given all of this power to whatever the world deems is important, and you've believed it. You've accepted you as your as your own, and so much you become a slave to this belief system. But when you look at the cross and boast in the cross, you're able to say to the world, you don't control me. You can say to those things that used to dominate you, you don't have power to determine my identity anymore. You are not my life.

[00:23:31]:

Friend, is that something you need to say to your body image today? Do you need to say that to your food plans, or your exercise plans, or your mirror, or your scale? Do you need to say, you don't have the power to determine my identity anymore. You are not my life. Maybe you need to say it to those two small sized clothes in your closet. Do you need to change where you boast? Do you need to taunt back to the world and say, I'm gonna boast in Jesus and the cross. I will not boast in you. You are not my life. I don't need you. You are not life to me.

[00:24:07]:

I demote you. You do not have to have a better body to have more confidence. This is the world's economy. This is the world's standard. This is our fleshly desire to have something in which we can boast. But, friend, this isn't the gospel. It's a false gospel. Now I know some of you are thinking, I like both.

[00:24:27]:

I wanna boast in Jesus' sacrifice, and I wanna boast in how great I control and take care of my body. Oh, but friend, God won't be mocked. You don't get to boast in both. You have to choose. Like scripture says, Joshua 24, choose ye this day whom you will serve. Jesus and his sacrifice is the only healthy place we can boast. It's so messy. I hear you.

[00:24:54]:

If you're like, oh, this is hard, Heather. Yikes. And I see you if the desire of your heart is, but I just I still believe that if I could just change my body, then I would feel better. I get it, my friend. But I can also tell you firsthand, as someone who's wearing a much bigger size than she wore a decade ago. I feel much more confident in my body now than I did then. My body size had nothing to do with it. Oh, friend.

[00:25:38]:

I know it's hard, but I hope something today has encouraged you. If nothing else, I hope it's encouraged you to stop comparing and start living. Jesus' way is the only way to life. None of these other things that promise us boasting rights, that promise us life can ever give us the life that we desire, the rest that we crave, the confidence that we want to have to go out into the world that's a battlefield. It only comes from having that nonstop voice of applause and praise from God above. Thanks for listening. We'll catch you in the next episode. The New York Times is part of the Life Audio Network of podcasts.

[00:26:31]:

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