What Do I Do if I Feel Jealous of Someone Skinnier Than Me? Me vs. ChatGPT [Podcast Transcript]

Title: What Do I Do if I Feel Jealous of Someone Skinnier Than Me? Me vs. ChatGPT

Podcast Date: May 6, 2025

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Description

Today Heather and ChatGPT tackle the same question, "What do I do if I feel jealous of someone skinnier than me?"

This is the question most of us have experienced, but few want to say out loud. While ChatGPT does a good job of acknowledging that comparison issues are about idealization and more, Heather fills in the holes with what the Bible has to say to our comparison issues. She talks about the importance of gratitude and how we really do need to change the way we objectify and the narratives we have in our heads regarding other people who have a "better" body than we do.

Who answered it better? Heather or Chat GPT?

Resources from today's show:

Our website: https://www.improvebodyimage.com

Comparison-Free Life book: https://www.improvebodyimage.com/books-for-christian-women-body-image

The 40-Day Body Image Workbook: https://www.improvebodyimage.com/40-Day-Body-Image-Workbook-Christian

The 40 Day Journey (starts week of June 16): https://www.improvebodyimage.com/40-day-challenge

Transcript

Disclaimer: This transcript is AI-generated and has not been edited for accuracy or clarity.

[00:00:02]:

Life audio. Hey, friend. Heather Creekmore here. I'm glad you're back for another episode of the compared to podcast. We're the show for you if you've ever struggled with the way your body looks. And, hey, this summer, we're doing a question series. And on my stand alone episodes, I'm gonna take on ChatGPT. I am asking CHAT GPT the questions that you're asking me to see which of us can answer them better.

[00:00:32]:

And today's question is a good one. It's what do I do if being around a certain person who's skinnier than me makes me feel jealous? Oh, hey. We've all been there. Right? You're around that person that always looks perfect, is is always so put together, or has just the best body, and you have that twinge of envy. That's where we're going today. We're gonna see how chat GPT answers it, and then I'll give you my best answer. I'm glad you're here for it. Hey.

[00:01:04]:

If you're new to the show, welcome. I'm so glad you're here. Would you go to improvebodyimage.com so we can connect with you? I've got a free gift there for you. You can download the free 15 page, fifteen day not 15 page, fifteen day mirror fast devotional. And I would just love to connect with you there. So go to improvebodyimage.com, and you'll get on our list, and we can touch base and tell you about all the great stuff we have at compared to who. Now let's get to today's episode. Okay.

[00:01:44]:

So I typed into chat GPT. These are the exact words I used. How can I be around someone who is skinnier than me that I'm jealous of? And chat g p t, oh, it's always just so caring. Like, again, like, I do feel a little threat to my job security because Chat GBT is just, like, trying to connect with me personally. Like, it is the friend you always wished you had. And it says, that's a really honest and vulnerable question. Thank you for asking it. Feeling jealous about someone else's body, especially in a world that puts so much pressure on appearance is super common.

[00:02:25]:

You're definitely not alone in this. It's funny. That's what it said last time too. I think it really wants me to know I'm not alone. So here are a few thoughts that may help you navigate being around someone skinnier than you when those feelings of jealousy come up. Okay. You ready for it? Here we go. Chad GPT always gives you a numbered list.

[00:02:44]:

Right? They know what we like. Number one, acknowledge your feelings without judgment. Chat g p t is the ultimate counselor. Okay. Acknowledge your feelings without judgment. It's okay to feel jealous. That doesn't make you shallow or bad. It makes you human.

[00:03:03]:

Try to notice the feeling without judging yourself for it. You might even say in your head, I'm feeling jealous right now, and take a deep breath. Naming it helps loosen its grip. Number two, zoom out. What are you really feeling? Sometimes jealousy isn't just about how someone looks. It can stem from feeling inadequate, unlovable, or like you're not enough. What story are you telling yourself when you see them? That they're more worthy, more attractive? Try to catch that inner narrative and gently challenge it. Okay.

[00:03:34]:

Chat GPT answer number three, shift the focus inward. Instead of comparing bodies, try to reconnect with yours. What does your body do for you? What do you love or appreciate about it even in small ways? Gratitude for your own body over time can help ease comparison. Number four, limit idealization. It might seem like that person has it all, but you never really know what someone's dealing with internally. They might struggle with food, insecurity, or comparison themselves. Nobody is perfect, and thinness doesn't guarantee happiness. Number five, set boundaries, mental or physical.

[00:04:14]:

If being around that person constantly makes you feel worse, it's okay to set boundaries. That doesn't mean cutting them off, but it could mean limiting time together, unfollowing them on social media, or redirecting conversations that trigger you. And finally, number six, chat g p t says, talk to someone safe. Like chat g p t, I suppose. Whether it's a friend, therapist, or support group, talking about this stuff out loud can be healing. You deserve support, not shame. Would you wanna talk more about where this is coming from or how often you're feeling this way? It's totally up to you. I'm here for it.

[00:04:49]:

Oh, my word. Doesn't does that creep anyone else out? Is it just me? Oh, that's what ChatGPT had to say. And we'll be right back in just a minute, and I'll tell you what I have to say. So let me cruise through ChatGPT's answers again and give you my perspective. Okay. So I I think that the first suggestion to acknowledge your feelings without judgment is okay. So it's okay to feel jealous. It doesn't make you shallow or bad.

[00:05:21]:

It makes you human. Like, yes, jealousy or I think envy is actually a better word, but people use those words interchangeably. Like jealous, god can be jealous. Right? So there can be a righteous way to be jealous. Jealousy is more about wanting something that is rightfully yours. And so when scripture says that god is a jealous god, he is jealous for our attention, our affection, our love, our worship because it is rightfully his. But what God is not is envious. And envy is really the correct word here.

[00:06:00]:

I use jealous because that's the word that people use most often when they're putting things into Google. But envy really means you want something you don't have and you kind of hate the other person for having that thing that you wish you had. And so envy is really the right word here, and envy oh, I oh, boy. Why is this number one? Envy is sin. Right? And so even though it might be human nature from, like, we can't just write it off as, oh, shucks. We actually have to acknowledge that whenever we're envying someone, we're sinning. Like, we're not called to that. We're called to not do that.

[00:06:43]:

In fact, we know that love is patient, love is kind, that love does not envy. But do we also know Galatians five twenty six that says, let us not become conceited, provoking one another or envying one another. Or, oh, this one hurts a lot. Okay? But James three sixteen says, for where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. So scripture is not really a fan of jealousy or envy. Right? And and like I described before, right, there's a righteous way to be jealous. There's, you know, also an unrighteous way to be jealous. But we have to acknowledge that this is sin.

[00:07:36]:

Right? But I do like what g b t t says about noticing the feeling without judging yourself for it. Right? Because there is a difference between, like, just having a feeling well up. That's not sin. Okay? Or just having a thought, that's not sin. Right? It's only sin if you indulge it. It's only sin if you sit with it, stay with it, like, keep feeling that way, and just, I don't know, really feed it. Right? But if you don't feed the thought, if you don't feed the feeling, it doesn't have to bloom into sin. And so when that feeling comes, don't judge yourself for it.

[00:08:15]:

I think that's actually pretty good advice. Instead, you could just be curious about it. Like, I wonder why I'm feeling so envious of her today. Like, I wonder what it is about her or me or what's going on in our lives that is kind of triggering this feeling. And just ask yourself, what do you think it could be? And it could be anything. Right? It could be that your body has changed and hers hasn't. It could be aging, but it could also be, like, something completely not body related. Like, maybe you just see her in a picture with her husband, and she just looks like she's really happy, And you're having a struggle in your marriage.

[00:08:56]:

And when you see her, you associate her with that happy marriage that you wish you could have. Right? And you feel in this case, maybe that's jealousy. Right? Because, like, you should have a happy marriage. You want to have a happy marriage. It's a good desire to have a happy marriage. And yet, you kind of are hating on her because she has what you don't have. And I definitely agree with Chad GPT in the last line of that one, which is naming it helps loosen its grip. I coach people around this all the time.

[00:09:24]:

Right? There's so many times when suddenly we go from feeling good to feeling bad about our bodies or our lives. And often, if we can just stop and figure out what triggered me, like, why did I all of a sudden go from living life just fine to, oh, I hate this. And if you can figure out what it was that triggered you, it's crazy how it does loosen its grip. So for me, a lot of times, this might be looking at Instagram. Right, where I scroll and scroll and scroll, and then, like, I get off it. I'm like, man, I just feel bad. Right? And part of it is well, I mean, the data's out there. Right? Part of it is just the scrolling Instagram makes you feel bad.

[00:10:01]:

But the other part of it is normally something very specific. Like, I saw this person in this picture, and that made me believe this, and that's why I feel bad now. And if I can name that, even though it doesn't solve anything, it doesn't actually heal anything, it doesn't make my life better and her life worse. Right? But just naming it does deflate it. It takes some of the air out of it. It helps it not have as much power. And that does connect to the second suggestion that chat g p t had about zooming out. What are you really feeling? Right? And that's a good suggestion too.

[00:10:38]:

Like, what are you feeling about yourself? Right? What where are you right now? Are you feeling like things are out of control? Like, how's your relationship with the Lord? Oh, you guys, my friend my husband used to ask me this question all of the time. Every time we started to fight about something, he would say, how's your time in the word been? And I would get so angry. I'd be like, it's not about reading my Bible. This is about this specific thing, and you aren't doing this thing, and you aren't doing this. And he'd always be like, mhmm. And so friend, I really hate to pull that on you, but I'm gonna pull it on you. How's your time in the word been? Right? Like, if you're not spending time connecting with what God says about you and connecting with Jesus, like praying and being in the word, you're not gonna feel good about who you are and what you've been created to do. You're just not.

[00:11:38]:

Right? And so if you're trying to do life as a Christian woman without that, it's not gonna work out. You are gonna get caught up in comparison and envy and jealousy and all the things all the time. Right? You have to connect to your source of life. Right? Like, your power source is Jesus reading his word, praying. Right? And if your power source is Instagram or YouTube or Netflix, friend, it's not gonna work out the way you want it to work out. You are gonna find yourself in envy and comparison all the time. The other thing that this one, I I think, is really it's had GBT, you're very astute. What a story are you telling yourself when you see that person? And I write about this in my book, The Comparison Free Life.

[00:12:27]:

Right? I actually, like, spell all this out. It's like it's almost a whole chapter on, like, the narratives we create about other people when they just look like we think we want to look. And most of the time, the stories are just not true at all. It's a cliche that I hate actually that don't compare your behind the scenes with someone else's highlights reel. I think that's the Steven Virtek quote, and so I apologize, Steven Virtek. But I think that's really lousy advice. Because the problem is, what if your behind the scenes still looks better than my behind the scenes? Right? It doesn't really solve anything. It just tells me to, like, compare differently.

[00:13:11]:

And I think the challenge is what are we actually believing when we compare ourselves to someone else? What narrative has, I would say in this case, the body image idol told us, comes with having a certain body. So you have a certain body and you have a certain life. Right? That's what we believe. We have to question the veracity of that. Right? Because my sense is just not true. I used to use this example all the time, so I apologize if you've heard me use it before. But I think the magazines at the Target or grocery store checkout are the perfect illustration of this. Right? You see that picture on the cover, and the picture of the woman, like, it just looks perfect.

[00:13:57]:

Right? It's been airbrushed. Right? Like, no one's bikini line is that smooth. Okay? But she's wearing a swimsuit. She looks good in a swimsuit. And you're like, man, I just wish I could look like her. And you only see the image. You're kind of objectifying her. Right? Because you're just seeing her as a body.

[00:14:14]:

And what you're missing is the narrative that is really, like, literally plastered around her. Because how many times do you see that image and then see the headlines around her, which is like, what I did when I was so depressed, or how I almost ended it all, or what I did after he cheated. Right? And you realize, oh, she has a body, but her life wasn't perfect. And that's why we have to stop believing the lies of the body image idol. Right? Because it is it's just lies. Your life doesn't get more perfect if you get a certain body size or shape. Now to number three, shift the focus inward. So instead of comparing bodies, try to reconnect with yours.

[00:14:56]:

I mean, that's not bad advice. It talks about though loving and appreciating your body even in small ways and gratitude for your body over time can help ease comparison. And here's how I would maybe add to that. Right? It is pretty difficult to go from body image issues, eating disorder, I just can't stand the way my body looks to, I am so grateful for my body. Right? That's a leap. It's a similar leap to go from that to, I love my body. I just love looking in the mirror. Like like, that's too big of a canyon to just jump over.

[00:15:31]:

Right? But I like the fact that it says small ways. Right? Because I do think there's some merit to being like, okay. I can be thankful today that my hands work and I could type an email. I can be thankful today that my legs work and I could get out of bed. Right? So those things aren't bad necessarily, but there is something to gratitude. And again, I write about gratitude in the comparison free life because it is really important to breaking free from comparison. Right? If we can just have hearts that are more thankful. And, actually, in that book, I also talk about grace a lot because I think if we can fully understand the depths of God's grace, and there's, like, grace isn't just for heaven.

[00:16:09]:

I'm talking about grace now here on Earth. If we can fully understand grace and gratitude, we won't compare ourselves to other people anymore. So highly recommend you go grab that book, The Comparison Free Life, if comparison is a way that you struggle, because I get it. I've been there and called myself a chronic compare. And grace and gratitude really do have something to do with breaking free for sure. But here's what I would say as you think about gratitude. It's helpful to make your gratitude list. It's helpful to be, okay.

[00:16:39]:

I'm thankful for my legs. I'm thankful for my hair. I'm thankful for my nose. Like, Like, helpful. Right? But here's the thing. Our bodies are gift from God. And when you get a gift, like, let's say, you are getting engaged and your fiance to be gives you this beautiful ring, do you focus on the ring or do you focus on the giver of the gift? Do you spend all your time after you get that ring Like, oh, I love my ring so much. My ring is so awesome.

[00:17:12]:

My ring is so amazing. I love this ring. I love this ring. I'm so thankful for this ring. This is the best ring ever. Like, I just love this ring. This ring is just gonna, like, make my whole life. Right? Or do you turn that into, like, wow.

[00:17:24]:

I really love you. Like, thank you. I can't wait to marry you. Thank you so much, like, for this beautiful ring that you picked out, or maybe you picked it out yourself. I don't know. But, like, thank you. I love the ring, but I really love you. You love the giver more than you love the gift.

[00:17:42]:

And so your body is a good gift, but if you try to focus too much on loving the gift and you miss the giver of the gift, you're missing out. You're missing the point. Okay. The next one, limit idealization. Yes, yes, and yes. Because like it said, you really never know what someone's dealing with. Now, this can backfire though. Right? Because I don't think it's super helpful to go around and be like, oh, she's really skinny.

[00:18:15]:

She looks really good. Oh, I bet she has a drug problem or a food problem. She probably has an eating disorder. Oh, she probably has a horrible marriage because she's probably so vain and conceited and stuck on herself because of how she look. Like, that's not a helpful position. Okay? And I know it's tempting. So we can take this suggestion of limiting idealization, and we can corrupt it with our sinful hearts and minds. Okay? So here's how I would maybe put, like, I don't know, a Jesus buffer on it.

[00:18:48]:

Was that a is that a thing? Again, don't idealize. Right? Don't assume that because she has the body, she has a life. Right? But stop looking at her like a body. Right? Like, look at her as a person that you can love and who may need you, who may need someone who will see them as more than a body, who may need someone who can actually care at them, care care at them, care for them, or love them beyond their exterior. Who can love them for what's going on in the inside. Who can see them for who they really are. And maybe that's your role. So your role isn't just to be like, I'm not gonna idealize you because you have problems.

[00:19:35]:

I'm sure you have problems. How can I figure out your problems? Figure out how you can love them well. And then, honestly, as you start to love someone well, your tendency to objectify them and to idealize them, it does diminish. I write a story about this in the comparison free life too, about a woman that I was very close to who looked like a model. Oh goodness, sometimes I didn't wanna go to the pool party with her. But what I learned was to stop objectifying her, and to actually be her friend, friend, to actually love her well. And what a difference that made. Okay.

[00:20:14]:

Number five, the setting boundaries thing. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, I guess if you're going crazy around someone, I guess boundaries might be helpful. But again, I'd be like, what the problem might not be them. I mean, if the problem is them, like, they're having lots of conversations about their body and why they're trying to be so skinny and how they're trying to be so skinny, or if if it's like all diet culture stuff, or if it's triggering to you in that way, then okay. Of course, setting boundaries makes sense to me for sure. But I don't wanna be around you because I'm envious of you, because you look better than me.

[00:20:50]:

Like, cutting someone off for that, that just that seems a little extreme to me. So perhaps better way to say this would be if you need to do some work with the Lord around your envy, do that before you see them. Right? Don't show up and be fake. Do that work first. Right? But I don't think you need to cut someone off because they're prettier than you. That just that seems a little severe. And then the last suggestion, talk to someone safe. You know what? In fact, I did an episode with Erin Eddie Atkins.

[00:21:23]:

It was called So Worth Loving. It was just it was not too long ago, within a month. And it was a fantastic conversation. And she shared how she has been telling her friends when she is envious of them. And I loved that because I actually talk about that in the comparison free life too, how I shared with someone that I was feeling envious of them. And they kinda replied like, what? Like, I'm envious of you. Like, that happens. And when you can do that I mean, you can't do it in an obnoxious way.

[00:21:54]:

Like, I'm so jealous of you. Right? Like, you you have to do it in, like, a, oh, man. I just think you're amazing. Like, it's really difficult for me sometimes because I just I think you're so amazing. Sometimes I feel envious, and I don't wanna feel that way. I wanna support you. I wanna be there for you. I wanna I wanna lift you up.

[00:22:11]:

I wanna cheer for you. But sometimes I just kinda wish that I had what you have, and that's hard. And by you just acknowledging that, that can just pop the balloon. Again, take the air right out of the comparison and the envy, and connect you to that person in a much deeper way than you were connected before. It can be really sweet. Again, be choosy about how you do it, when you do it, where you do it. Right? But I would be surprised if you won't do it. I'm just not phrasing this correctly, but I would be surprised if when you do it, if you do it, you don't end up hearing the same response right back from her.

[00:22:53]:

Like, man, like, I'm jealous of this. Like, I'm envious of the way you do this, and the way you do this. Right? And in that conversation, even though it's cloaked in in envy and maybe negative feelings. Right? In that conversation, you actually are hearing what you appreciate about each other. Right? And that can be really sweet, and that can draw you together. But I understand that's not gonna be the case for everyone. I understand that might not be the level of relationship you have with this person. And so, of course, if there's someone you can't stop obsessing over, talk to someone, friend.

[00:23:32]:

Like, this honestly is something that comes up in coaching all the time, more so in my individual coaching. But I work with women all the time that are Well, we start talking about their body image issues. And we'll do like a session or two just around those. And then it's only around session like three or four, it'll come out. The person. The person that they have been, like, given the evil eye, not on purpose, but the person that they just want to be more like. The person who has the body or the person sometimes you guys, it's a person from elementary school or high school that they still remember, like, the image of them is stuck in their head, and they just wanna be more like this person. And it's been, like, thirty years since high school, and they're still thinking about Jenny's hair or Jenny's body.

[00:24:19]:

We talk about that in coaching. Coaching is a safe place to bring those things. And so if you've got one of those rattling if you've got a Jenny rattling around your head, if you got someone you like, you can insulate your listening, like, oh, I know who it is. Yep. That's my person. Like, I've been envying them for decades. Hey. Let's sign up for a session.

[00:24:38]:

Let's talk about it. Because it doesn't need to stay in your head. Like, there's a healthier way to live. And sometimes just bring it to the light, and we've got some exercises we can do around this to kinda help you work through, like, what it is, where it came from, why it's there, and how to get rid of it. But sometimes just bringing that to the light can be so freeing. So I would encourage you to do that. I think, yeah, chat GPT. You didn't do that bad.

[00:25:01]:

I don't know. I give you a score of maybe, six on a one to 10 scale on this one. But I'm glad you're here, and I hope you were too. Hey. Come back next time as we tackle another me versus chat g p t topic. And if you have a great topic for this summer series, drop me a message, heather at compare to who dot me. I'd love to hear your topic ideas. We'll see what Chat GPT has to say about it, and we'll see what I have to say about it.

[00:25:28]:

Hey. Thanks again for listening. I hope something today has helped you stop comparing and start living bye bye. The Comparing You podcast is proud to be part of the Life Audio podcast ever. For more on great Christian podcasts, go to LifeAudio.com. Hey. Have you left a review of the show yet? I know I've got thousands of listeners and not that many reviews. Could you help me out? Would you consider stopping right now and leaving a review wherever you get your podcast? That would bless us so much.