How to Feel Better About How You Look in Family Pictures [Podcast Transcript]

Title: How to Feel Better About How You Look in Family Pictures

Podcast Date: May 13, 2025

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Description

Have you been putting off the formal family photos until you lose weight or change your appearance? Today, Heather gives all her best strategies for tackling, surviving, and maybe even enjoying (just a little) the family photo process. If you struggle with not liking how you look in pictures, today's episode will encourage you to stop avoiding photos and be in the picture!

Heather offers strategies for before the photos--including how to choose what to wear, during the photos, and even what to do when you get those pictures back and you feel nervous about what you look like in them. Heather also shares some hilarious stories about getting ready for her family pictures that you'll appreciate and laugh at. 

Learn more about Compared to Who? by visiting: Https://www.improvebodyimage.com

The 40-Day Body Image Workbook: https://www.improvebodyimage.com/40-Day-Body-Image-Workbook-Christian

The 40 Day Journey (starts week of June 16): https://www.improvebodyimage.com/40-day-challenge

Transcript

Disclaimer: This transcript is AI-generated and has not been edited for accuracy or clarity.

[00:00:02]:

Life audio. Hey, friend. Heather Creekmore here. I'm so glad you're listening to the Compare To podcast today. Today, we've got another fantastic question. Are you ready for it? I bet you've asked it. I get it all the time. The question is, how do I feel okay about how I look in pictures? Or how do I feel good? Oh, is that too high a standard? How do I feel good about how I look in pictures or how I'm going to look in pictures? Or what do I do if I haven't scheduled our family pictures or those professional headshots for years because I never like how I look in pictures.

[00:00:43]:

Oh, friend. I've got some funny stories for you because we just did our family pictures this week, and it had been it had been six years since we got them done. And most of that was just schedule and COVID and all the things. But I had some concerns about how I was gonna look in those pictures because the last time we had it done, I was 44, and now I'm 50. My body does not look the same as it did back then, and I remember not loving the pictures that got done back then. So if that is you, if you're thinking about getting pictures done maybe on vacation this summer or next fall or, you just know there's pictures coming at the family reunion and you wanna know how to feel better about how you look in pictures, you've come to the right place. Hey. This is the podcast for you.

[00:01:45]:

If you've ever struggled with the way your body looks, I'm so glad you're here for it. Hey. Go to improvebodyimage.com if you're brand new to the show, and you'll find all kinds of amazing resources. We've got a blog there. You can find past episodes of the podcast. You can find out about my books. I've written several of them. Especially, you can find out about the forty day body image workbook.

[00:02:09]:

Because if you read that book, you can go with us on the forty day journey. We're actually we read it together for accountability and encouragement, and then we meet once a week. So you can actually ask the author, me, questions about the content of the book. You guys, it's an amazing experience, and it's gonna start again here mid June. So go to improvebodyimage.com. Look for the forty day journey tab. We wanna see you there. Let's get to our big question.

[00:02:40]:

Here we go. Okay. So today, we're talking about how to feel better about how you look in pictures. Now in the forty day workbook, I talk about this whole problem of how candidly, I think most women I don't know if I've met a woman who is like, I love how I look in pictures. In fact, I think a lot of men struggle too. It's just most of them don't care as much is probably the distinction. But this is a real thing. And I think in the last, I'm gonna call it twenty years, maybe since the advent of the iPhone and the selfie front facing cam, this has become even more of a thing.

[00:03:31]:

Right? Because we have so many more pictures of ourselves than we ever had before. Right? It used to be you took pictures and you went and you got them developed down at the CVS and how they came out was how they came out. Right? And so it was always a gamble. Or you paid a professional photographer and you got your picture taken, JCPenney in the back of the store. Right? I mean, I don't know. Maybe it's just me who's done that. But now you can sit there with your camera facing you and you can take a 27 shots from every angle with every lighting until you get one that you like a lot. And then that's the one you're gonna post on social media.

[00:04:13]:

So everyone sees it and thinks, oh, wow. She's so photogenic. She looks so fantastic in pictures. And they have no idea what she went through to get that shot. Right? And so that's become our new normal. Our new normal is everyone's oh, I hate to say it because I really don't like this quote, but it's everyone's highlights real. Right? It's it's everyone's best shot of all of the dozens and dozens of pictures they took. So let's just start off by acknowledging that reality.

[00:04:44]:

Okay? You have got to give yourself grace because, oh goodness, there's a lot of pressure around this. And there's this expectation that you're gonna look a certain way in pictures and that we're all suddenly professional models, and we know exactly how to stand and what lighting is correct and all of the things. And some of us just don't. Or some of us are victims. I'm gonna use the word victims. We're victims of horrible photographers. Okay? I mean, oh, I shouldn't say this on the podcast, but I have a family member who's not very tall. And I hate giving her my phone to take a picture because I always know she's gonna angle it up because she's not very tall.

[00:05:33]:

And those pictures always turn out horrible. But we're not talking about how to get bad pictures today. We're talking about how you can feel better in those pictures, and I'm gonna give you my strategies before, during, and after pictures are taken right after this quick break. Okay. So we're gonna think about this in terms of before, during, and after the photos, how you can feel better about how you look in the pictures. And before, I just wanna start by laying this foundation. You are worthy to be in a picture. No matter what your body looks like, no matter how your body has changed, no matter if your body looks nothing like it did seven years ago, fourteen years ago, twenty five years ago, you are still worthy of being in pictures.

[00:06:30]:

And so I really want you to not be afraid to schedule. Don't be afraid to choose a time to get the pictures taken. And do not do what, oh goodness, most of us do. We say, you know what? As soon as I lose the x number of pounds, then I'm gonna arrange to get my picture taken. Then then I'm gonna set it up. And there's a chance that day doesn't come or doesn't come until your little kids are no longer little kids, and then you miss out on the opportunity to get your picture taken with the little kids. Or maybe your big kids are even bigger kids, and they're not at home anymore. Friend, like, seize the day.

[00:07:11]:

This is your time. So stop putting it off because you think your body is not worthy of being photographed. You are not a professional model. You are trying to capture a memory of not just you, but your whole family. And just you know, think about this as, like, generations to come. Can you imagine if you didn't have any pictures of your great grandmother? Actually, you know, there weren't many pictures. There weren't many, you know, cameras and film and photographs when my great grandmother was alive. So I think I've maybe seen one or two pictures of my great grandmother.

[00:07:45]:

But think about the history you're making for your kids, for grandkids, for great grandkids. You are worthy of being photographed even if you don't look like you think you should look. Other people see you all the time, and they're gonna want pictures to remember you by. So even if you don't like them, do it for everyone else. Do it for the generations to come. Okay. So that's that's the foundation. Doesn't matter what you look like.

[00:08:19]:

It's okay to be in pictures. Now let's talk practical logistics. Before the photographs, here's what I've learned just really in the last couple weeks getting our pictures taken. Okay. Thing one, have everyone in the family coordinate with you. Right? That's a thing now. We have to be coordinated in the family photos. If you don't do that thing okay.

[00:08:43]:

I just I respect and admire you for not falling prey to societal norms. But if you feel the pressure to coordinate, then have everyone else's outfit coordinate around what you find to wear. Don't put extra pressure on yourself to match everyone else. Okay? You you get to be the queen in this scenario. Now that being said, let me tell you what I did. I ordered, over the course of let's call it three months. I probably ordered and returned 22 different dresses. I had it in my head.

[00:09:19]:

I was gonna wear a dress, a navy blue dress. Oh, friend. I mean, some of these dresses just turned out hideous. Praise god. Amazon takes returns. I did the Amazon path for, I don't know, let's call it six weeks. And then I gave up, and I got desperate, and I started ordering more expensive things from department stores and other places, but I had to return all of those too. And finally, what I went back to was my old standby outfit.

[00:09:51]:

Now I thought I had in my head I wanna wear a dress, but what I realized was that there is a certain outfit that I wear that I normally feel pretty comfortable in. It's like my go to. We're going out to dinner. We're going out with friends. Like, this is what I wear, and that is some sort of jeans, pants, skirt, something. But on the top, I wear normally a tank top because I get hot and a jean jacket. And, finally, what happened after my 22 dresses my 22 dress returns, I realized, you know, I should really just be wearing what I am most comfortable in, what my kinda uniform is. And so I ended up going with a pair of wide leg jeans, and they're white jeans.

[00:10:41]:

And I heard someone on Facebook talk about how you should always order white jeans one size larger, which I did. And as an aside, I am a woman who's had body image issues for a long time, and god has done a healing work in me. And so I'm a little amazed that I got my photo taken in a pair of jeans that were that size. Okay? So if you're thinking the same thing, like, oh, I already don't like the size I wear. Are you kidding me? Order a size bigger and then get your picture taken knowing that you're wearing that size bigger. Friend, it it's okay. And I am so glad I ordered them a bigger size because I actually think they look better in the picture, and I wasn't feeling constricted. Nothing was tight.

[00:11:25]:

Nothing was, like, I don't know, cutting at the wrong places. And so I thought that was really helpful advice. They said, especially with white jeans, you should do that because you really don't want tight white jeans. No one looks good in tight white jeans. So I was glad I took that advice, and then that just kind of led me to wear my uniform. And so I wore the, like, wide leg white jeans, oversized, and my navy blue tank top, and my denim jacket, and found some cute earrings on Amazon, and had some cute high heel sandals, and that was it. And so my encouragement to you is maybe instead of trying to find something, like, really special, consider just doing your uniform. What do you feel comfortable in? What do you like to wear? That's probably the best thing for you to wear the photo because you like how you look in it at least to some level, and you won't be shocked when you see how it looks in pictures.

[00:12:29]:

Now second practical thing, and I wanna be careful when I say this. Like, I feel strongly about it, but, yeah, oh, I don't wanna sound deity. Okay? So I am a firm believer in water, and I would suggest pounding water for a few days before you get your picture taken. Now, hear me loud and clear. This is not instead of eating. This is not so you're you feel full. This is rather to hydrate your skin because hydrated skin photographs best. And most of us, friend, especially if you're around my age, we we're dehydrated a lot of the time.

[00:13:10]:

So pound water, flush that system out, and I think you will feel better about how if you're wearing makeup, how your makeup sits, and, you know, flushing flushing, your system out can sometimes help with bloating, all of those things. Now hear me loud and clear. Because I knew I was getting these pictures taken, for I don't know. I probably had them on the calendar for three or four months. Right? There was the temptation for me to consider dieting. Yes. Yes. I know.

[00:13:44]:

I know. I you go back to your old patterns, your old ways of thinking, your old habits so quickly, don't you? Those neural pathways are so deep. And so in the back of my head, let's call it the last three months. I've had that. You're getting your picture taken, you know, on this day. That's x weeks away. Maybe you should stop eating sugar. Maybe you should stop eating carbohydrates.

[00:14:08]:

Maybe you should do this. Maybe you should do that. And would you like to know what happened? Friend, like, seriously, I am such a firm believer in what I have learned from my dietitian friends over the last several years, and it's helped me so much. But the truth is, when I start to go back to what I'm gonna call the diet mentality, and when I start to think, I should restrict this food, I should restrict this food, the way I am wired as a restrictor, you know what happens? Immediately, I wanna have more of that food. Immediately, I can't stop thinking about that food that I'm gonna restrict. And so over the course of the three months thinking about my pictures, I went from, like, a day where it's like, I should just not eat sugar. If I could just not eat sugar for the next three months, I'll like the pictures better. I mean, we say these things to ourselves in our heads.

[00:14:59]:

Right? And then as soon as I would spend, like, a morning thinking that, then all afternoon, I would be thinking about sugar and, like, and then eat more sugary things than I normally do that evening and the next day. And then I would have to kind of talk to myself and be like, wait. What are you doing? Like, you're free to eat sugar when you are hungry for something sweet, but you are binging it because you are restricting it. So you've gotta get out of that old diet or restrictive mentality. So that's what I did. But, I mean, friends, I had to catch myself. I don't know how many times I had to catch myself and realize, oh, like, I am going crazy on the sugar today because I spent all day yesterday thinking about restricting it. And so, ultimately, for me, I have found it is so much better for me to not try to put myself on a diet, on any kind of restriction, plan before an event or before getting pictures taken because that will backfire every time.

[00:16:09]:

And so if you're like me, I would encourage you to keep that in mind. But pounding water, I think, was helpful. The other thing that I would encourage you to do is and you've probably heard this one before, but don't do anything drastic. Okay? Don't go get your hair cut in a new style or colored in a new, like, tone, new highlights, or anything that you've not done before the day or a couple days before your pictures because, friend, that just never works out. And I would say the same with makeup too. I don't know if you've ever bought a new lipstick and then gotten your picture taken and been like, oh, oh, what was that? So, you know, think about not capturing yourself, like, all done up in random ways, but you're really trying to capture who you were at this moment in time. Now I will tell you my embarrassing story about the eyelashes. So I don't have a ton of eyelashes like I used to, and every I live in Texas, friends.

[00:17:08]:

Like, everyone has lashes. Everyone. Like, it's just a thing. I I mean, I don't even know if I know anyone who doesn't have lashes anymore. No. That's not true. But it's a thing. Everyone has lashes.

[00:17:17]:

And I was like, well, you know what? Maybe I'll try some really natural looking lashes. Now the thing is I had no idea how to apply them. So the day of our pictures, oh, friend, it was a disaster. I mean, I got these things on, like, sideways. They're, like, glued, like, up my eye. I had to remove my eye makeup and my eyelashes. Like, it it was a thing. I I made such a mess.

[00:17:43]:

And then I googled, like, why won't my lashes stick correctly? And found out that lashes don't work if you have more than, like, 50% humidity. And that day was, like, 90% humidity here in Texas. And I was trying to do them in my bathroom after I'd taken a shower over and it was a disaster. Eventually, I did figure out the lashes. Eventually, I did get them to work. And I don't know if it made a difference in the picture or not. Honestly, like, you can't really see my eyes because they're not close ups. They're family pictures.

[00:18:14]:

But I guess I'm glad I did them. But I would say if I didn't have all day long that day to mess with him, it would have been a really stressful addition. So I would encourage you not to do anything like that because you don't wanna be stressed out before your pictures. That really shows up. The other thing oh goodness, friends. Ironing. Okay? When you have a family of six people, I probably spent two hours ironing the day of our pictures for the pictures. And then my white jeans, you know, my brand new oversized white jeans.

[00:18:48]:

Have you done this? I put them on the ironing board. I get that iron out. I lay it down, and I press the spray button. And as I'm doing it, it's almost a slow motion, no. Because as I'm pressing the spray button, I'm recognizing that I didn't put new water in, and the iron hasn't been used in quite a while. And I sprayed out the rust dots. You know what the rust dots are. So I sprayed brand new jeans with rust dots, and then I tried to get the rust dots out by spraying them with that Dawn, like, super spray stuff, which then turned them purple, which made me really paranoid that I had completely ruined the jeans.

[00:19:25]:

And then trying to wash the Dawn out, and the wet part of the denim looks different than the dry part of the denim. And I'm not sure if it's ever gonna dry, and I don't wanna put it in the dryer because they don't wanna set that that rust stains. Oh, guys. It was such a disaster. And so here's the other suggestion for you from my real life ex real lived experience on this, is give yourself time. Okay? If you can schedule your pictures on a day when you're not working, when you don't have a lot of other things going on, because you just want time to relax, get the things done, and not be stressed. And if you're like me, stress makes you hot, and hot makes you melt, makes me sweat, and sweat affects my hair, and sweat affects my makeup, and sweat just, just doesn't look good in pictures. Now if you're getting family reunion shots done on vacation, all the other things, like, it just might not be a possibility.

[00:20:21]:

But if you get to choose and schedule photos, be kind to yourself and find a day when you don't have a lot going on. Okay? That's before. That's before you get your pictures taken. Let's talk about during your pictures. Right? So here's just one overall thing. Brent, if you are worried about how you're looking in those pictures, that is gonna come through in those pictures. Here's how I know. I have gotten headshots done, you know, just professional shots done that I was super stressed about, and you can see the stress in my face.

[00:21:01]:

And then I've done my own headshots at home, and I'm so much more relaxed because I'm the one holding the camera, and I know exactly what they look like with every photograph I take. Friend, the more relaxed you will you feel, the better your pictures are gonna look. Right? I mean, we've all done it where you see the picture and you're like, I thought I was, like, trying to stand in just the right way and had just the right pose, and you end up, like, looking constipated. Okay. We you know it. So I would just encourage you. Be as relaxed as possible. Even if on the inside you're worrying a little bit, just do whatever it takes to relax.

[00:21:39]:

So I also because I do tend to get hot in this season of life, I got myself a little, like, you ice pack, on Amazon. It's amazing. You keep it in the freezer. I use the thing all the time. I also have a little small fan, like a battery, like, plug in your phone fan. Like, I had all of those things with me. I wore the ice pack to the photo, location. I took the fan with me out in the field because I knew it was gonna be hot standing out there.

[00:22:06]:

So do what you need to do to take care of yourself during the photos. And then finally, as you're standing there, getting your pictures taken, again, I want you to remember what you're there for. You're there to capture a family memory. This is not just about you. You're not a professional model, and that's okay. This is about all those people around you. All those people you love and those people who love you being in the same photograph together. You're capturing this moment in time that you will never have back again.

[00:22:40]:

So stop stressing about how you're going to look and keep in mind the big picture. The other thing I want you to realize is, friend, you don't have to put this photo on Facebook. I feel like the fact that everyone posts their family pictures on Facebook or Instagram, I feel like that adds this layer of pressure. Like, the picture has to be good because every one of my 1,900 friends is gonna see it. They don't have to see it. Like, it is this might be mind blowing to some of you, but it is possible to get family photos taken and not share them on social media. Believe it or not, it is possible. You can do it.

[00:23:21]:

So think about the reality that you're getting it done for you and your family and your posterity and your legacy. It does not have to be for your Facebook friends to comment on. They never have to see it. And so maybe for you, that takes the pressure off. Right? But I want you to remember, there's no rule that because you had family photos done, they have to be posted on Facebook. And I'm not posting my family photos on Facebook. I'm just not. I'm not doing it anymore.

[00:23:47]:

I feel like it's a game. I feel like the game is, who can have the nicest looking family or who can have the prettiest pictures. And I'm like, I just I don't wanna trigger anyone with that. I like, why? I don't you don't have to do it. I mean, I'm not saying that everyone who posts their family pictures on Facebook is doing it with any kind of malicious or, I don't know, wanting to be envied intent. I'm not saying that at all. But I'm just saying that the reason for family photos can get lost in this era where we all have to be models and we all have to post our beautiful pictures online. No.

[00:24:26]:

We don't. You don't have to do it. Okay. Now let's talk about what happens when you get those pictures back. Oh, yeah. Oh, when you're so nervous opening that email or opening the text message or going to the website and looking at them. What are they gonna look like? Do I look like I thought I was gonna look, or do I look vastly different than that I thought I was gonna look? Friend, here's the truth. Okay? You are the only one that's surprised by how you look because everyone else already sees you all the time.

[00:25:01]:

And so, again, I hope you hired a professional because professionals do do a good job of choosing, like, the photos that you look best in because chances are you are gonna get caught in a posture or an expression or something that you don't love. When we got our photos back, there's a picture of me and my daughter. And and I promise you I have 12 chins. Okay? I'm never gonna buy a photo of me with 12 chins. I'm just not. But, you know, I shared it with, Tara, who's one of our coaches. And Tara was like, I just love, like, the joy and the love in your face. And I was like, I was not looking at the joy and love in my face.

[00:25:33]:

I was looking at my 12 gins. But I appreciated her saying that, and it was a good reminder to me that, again, we look at our own photos, like, to be hard on ourselves. We look for things that are wrong. We're so critical. We're so unkind to the image that we see of ourselves, especially when that image doesn't match the ideal image we have in our head. But, friend, like, it's okay to just let that go. So when you get those pictures back, here's what I want you to do. I want you to look at the big picture.

[00:26:04]:

I do not want you to zoom in. Do not blow up your face. Do not blow up your body. You blow up your arm. Right? Don't zoom in. You don't need to zoom in. Just look at the whole family. Look at the big picture and try to see what's behind those smiles.

[00:26:22]:

Try to see this as a moment in time that you are preserving, a moment in time that you won't get back. And try not to be so critical of yourself. Friend, you are loved. You are seen. It's okay if you don't love the picture. It's okay to feel indifferent about how you look. Right? But remember, you're not a professional model. Okay? And but professional models get pictures in that they don't love how they look in.

[00:26:51]:

Right? And that's our job. This family photo opportunity is about capturing a memory. And that's it. So look at it, remember the memory, and then maybe put them aside for a while. Like, order what you need to order. But because here's what I promise you. I promise you that in ten months or ten years, you're gonna look at that picture, and you're gonna see it a whole lot differently than you do right now. And if you don't believe me, just think back to pictures that you had of yourself from ten months or ten years ago where maybe when you first got them back, you were like, oh, I can't stand it.

[00:27:29]:

And then years go by and you look and you're like, oh, that actually wasn't that bad of a picture. I actually looked pretty good then. And that's gonna be the same thing that's gonna happen with these pictures. So do not feel discouraged or despairing if you don't love how you look in them. That might just be how you feel right now, and those feelings could change. Okay. Those are my best tips. Now let's see what chat g p t had to say.

[00:27:57]:

Chat g p t suggested well, first of all, I I appreciate how, chat g p t is so affirming that body image issues are deeply common and that I'm not alone in feeling this way. When I asked it, I have body image issues. How do I feel better about getting my picture taken? Chat g p t says, start with compassion, not criticism. Well, that sounds familiar. It says, try to shift your internal dialogue. Instead of fixating on flaws, remind yourself, I'm allowed to exist in photos just as I am. This takes practice, but it's powerful. Yeah.

[00:28:27]:

I like that. Number two, focus on the moment, not the image. Oh, this sounds familiar too. Photos are often about capturing memories, not perfection. Try to emphasize the connection, celebration, or event the picture represents rather than how you look. I like that too. Number three, practice being in photos. Take selfies or casual pictures in low pressure settings.

[00:28:48]:

The more familiar you get with seeing yourself, the less shocking or uncomfortable it may feel. You know what? That's that's a really good point. Right? And I'm not saying you should all start taking more selfies of yourself and posting them, but it is true that when you're out of pictures for a long time because you don't like how your body looks, it is shocking when you see a picture for the first time. Whereas the more photos that you're in, the more regularly you see yourself. It is less shocking when you see yourself in pictures because you already kinda know, oh, yeah. That's what I look like. So that's kind of a good strategy. Number four, control what you can.

[00:29:23]:

Oh, this sounds familiar too. Chad GPT and I are on the same page. Choose clothes you feel good in, experiment with angles and lighting, or work with a photographer you trust. Feeling like you have some control can ease anxiety. Well, I guess that's true. And number five, challenge negative beliefs. Ask yourself, would I say these things to a friend? Often, we hold ourselves to harsh standards we'd never expect of anyone else. Try applying the same kindness to yourself.

[00:29:49]:

Yeah. I think that's good. Number six, take breaks when needed. If you're overwhelmed, step away. You don't have to force a smile or fake comfort. Acknowledge how you feel. That's a step towards healing. Yeah.

[00:30:00]:

I guess that can work. I don't know. We had an hour to take our photos before sunset. And so I think me stepping away and saying I'm just not ready for this right now probably would have messed everything up. But if you have the opportunity to do that, I think that's probably good. And number seven, chat gbt says you should talk to a therapist. One, experienced with body image concerns, and that can make a big difference over time, especially if this is a deep rooted issue. And then it's offering me some posing tips or affirmations.

[00:30:31]:

So I guess it can go either way. Either they're gonna help me get a better picture or they're gonna help me affirm myself if I don't get a better picture, I guess, anyway. The therapeutic support though. Yeah, friend. Hey. If If you're thinking about pictures and you're just freaked out and you need some help, you're just like, I don't think I can do it, Heather, reach out. We're doing coaching this summer. It's a coaching group.

[00:30:50]:

We'll do individual coaching with you. There's a forty day body image journey that's gonna start mid June. Friends, you don't have to stay there, but don't let your family grow up around you without you being in the picture. Don't miss photo opportunities this summer when you're making memories on vacation because you don't like how mom looks. Oh, friends. Your family wants you to be in the picture. They want to see you. They want to remember you being there.

[00:31:18]:

And they love you, and they know what you look like, and it's okay. You don't have to change any of that to be worthy of being in the picture. Hey. Thanks for listening today. Hope something today has helped you stop comparing and start living. Bye bye. The Compared To Podcast is proud to be part of the Life Audio Podcast Network. For more great Christian podcasts, I hope you'll go to lifeaudio.com.

[00:31:38]:

Hey. Have you left a review of the Compared To Podcast yet? If not, oh, your reviews mean so much to us. Would you consider pausing right now and leaving your best review wherever you get your podcasts? Thanks for considering.