Overcoming Fear of Failure: Finding Worth Beyond the World's Definitions of Success

christian living for men for moms for teens self-esteem Nov 01, 2025
fear free fall breaking free from fear of failure

Title: Overcoming Fear of Failure: Finding Worth Beyond the World's Definitions of Success

Podcast Date: October 21, 2025

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Description

Description:
In this episode of the Compared to Who? podcast, Heather Creekmore continues her Fear Free Fall series with a deep dive into the fear of failure. Heather unpacks the difference between perfectionism and fear of failure, revealing how each shows up in the ways we approach life, our goals, and our body image struggles. She explores how our definitions of success can become idols and how God’s grace redefines our worth. Heather shares personal experiences, practical examples from her coaching, and biblical encouragement to help listeners break free from the grip of performance-based living and find freedom in Christ.

Key Topics:

  • Difference between perfectionism and fear of failure

  • Identity issues at the root of both struggles

  • How fear of failure shows up as avoidance, hesitation, and "analysis paralysis"

  • The role of “success” as an idol and how it influences body image

  • Processing where personal standards and God’s standards diverge

  • God’s grace as the answer to our endless striving for worth

  • Practical encouragement for stepping out in faith, even when failure feels likely

Encouragement:
Heather challenges listeners to reflect on where fear of failure might be holding them back and offers gospel-centered strategies to reframe their thinking and experience freedom in Christ.

Resources & Links

Transcript

Disclaimer: This transcript is AI-generated and has not been edited for accuracy or clarity.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:00:02]:

Life Audio. Hey, friend, Heather Creekmore here. Thanks for listening to the Compare to podcast. Today we are in a Fear Free Fall series. If you haven't listened to the last two episodes, I encourage you go back and listen to them. Especially the one from October 7th where I kick off the series and I talk about really the challenge between having faith and having fear and how maybe we've oversimplified or like way too complicated those concepts. When we talk about faith over fear and conquer your fears with faith. Maybe we've got that a little muddied up.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:00:38]:

So go listen to that episode and I'll explain how to have a faith that actually conquers fear. And then what we're doing the rest of the month is going through these fears. We have these specific fears. So last time we talked about fear of rejection, perfectionism, people pleasing. Today we're talking fear of failure. It's that bondage we feel when maybe we don't even want to try something because we're not sure if, if we'll be good at it or if we'll master it, if we'll find success there. Ooh, that success word. That's a key for those of us who have a fear of failure.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:01:09]:

We're going to talk all about that in today's episode. I'm so glad you were here for it. And let me encourage you, don't just be a listener. I'm hopeful to give you strategies in each of these episodes that can actually transform the way you walk and think and do life through the power of the gospel of Jesus Christ. So don't just let it go in one ear and out the other. Maybe share with a friend and have a discussion about it. That's a way that you'll really begin to change those neural pathways in your brain to actually believe these things that maybe you know in your head just can't get down to being heart knowledge. But I want you to be free.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:01:47]:

I want you to be free from these fears that hold you back and especially those fears that are keeping you trapped in body image issues. Hey, we started a 40 day journey a couple weeks ago. It's been an amazing time. I hope you'll stay on the lookout for our next 40 day journey which will start in January. If you're like Heather, I can't wait that long. Hey, join us halfway through. You'll get a discount next time around for doing it once already. You can watch the replays.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:02:09]:

We'd love to have you go to improvebodyimage.com and look for the 40 Day Journey link. Also, if you go to that same website, you can find out information about all of my books. Reading my books is a great place to start if you're looking for freedom in this area. You can also get a 10 days of encouragement which hey, who doesn't need a little real encouragement from scripture mixed in with those sale and spam emails you're getting? Come on, this is good stuff. It will encourage you every time you open your inbox. Also, want to invite you one more time to the In his image Conference, Dallas, Texas, November 15th. I'll be there. I'd love to meet you there.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:02:47]:

Drop me a note if you're coming so I can look for you. Now let's get to today's episode. Hey there friend. Okay, so today we're talking fear of failure. And at first blush you may say, didn't you talk about that last week? I mean, you talked about perfectionism. And isn't perfectionism really just being afraid of failing? Yes and no. Now granted, on the outside they might look exactly the same, but underneath it all, perfectionism is about achieving control. Perfectionism is rooted in pride and pressure and this belief if I get everything right, if I can earn approval, stay in control.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:03:34]:

And it's not about avoiding effort in any way. It's about exuding too much effort, trying so hard that through my control I'm going to make failure impossible. And the perfectionist moves towards achievement, trying to prove their worth, prevent criticism in a specific way. They're trying to do it by outperforming it. Like I am better than these standards. I can beat these standards. And so I am really unstoppable, uncriticizable. You can't say anything negative about me or reject me because I am doing everything perfectly and that's going to keep me safe, that's going to keep me loved, that's going to keep me in control.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:04:19]:

But this is different than the fear of failure because the fear of failure is more about trying to avoid pain. The fear of failure is often rooted in anxiety. It's the dread of what's going to happen if I don't succeed. So fear of failure is more about avoidance rather than achievement. A person who's ruled by the fear of failure may procrastinate or quit shortly after starting, maybe even before starting thinking, okay, if I don't try, then I won't fail. And the focus is on escaping shame and criticism and rejection. Because there's a core belief of if I fail, then you're going to see that I'M not good enough. And so while perfectionism is really more about pressure, frustration, exhaustion, fear of failure is more about fear, insecurity, self doubt.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:05:20]:

And it can often look like avoidance, hesitation, or paralysis. Maybe you've heard of analysis paralysis. I've seen this with friends who were trying to redecorate and they just could not decide on a color because they wanted it to be exactly right. And so they just never start the redecorating project. It's not really about perfectionism. The perfectionist would do the whole redecorating project and worry about every detail and maybe change out the tile after it had been done if it didn't just look right. But the one who's afraid of failure won't even get the project started. Now I'll say that fear of failure and perfectionism, they both have something in common, right? It's an identity issue, right? It's one of the ways that we confuse who we are in Christ, our secure identity and worth in him, with a worth based identity where I have to do certain things, earn certain things, perform a certain way, always be striving, always be trying to be a certain way in order to have my worth and identity established, right? So at its core for both things, right, the core is the same.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:06:33]:

We need to reroute our identity in Christ. And it's also the same in that the basic fear of failure is the same as perfectionism in that we're afraid that we're not enough. Right? The fear of failure is being afraid that you're not going to meet the standards, whether they're spoken or unspoken, that you believe determine your value. It's an anxious belief when it comes to body image. It might sound like if my body doesn't measure up, then I failed, and if I failed, I'm not lovable, desirable or worthy. So the root is probably not vanity, it's actually insecurity wrapped in pressure. So for the most part, I think I relate more to the perfectionist than the one who struggles with fear of failure. I've never been afraid to just try something new and if it doesn't go well, change directions.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:07:23]:

I've, it's probably personality driven, been able to do that quite a bit with, with different things. And I do tend to get bored with things and so if it's not going well, I tend to get bored and switch directions. But I will say I had a lifelong career goal of being in broadcasting, which is kind of ironic that I'm doing a podcast now. So somehow I did meet that goal I suppose. But I remember my freshman year of college, and I've shared this story before on the show. My freshman year of college, I'm at a little Christian college in Pennsylvania. I went to Messiah. It was Messiah College then.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:07:57]:

Now it's Messiah University, which just sounds weird to me. But I am a student at this tiny Christian college outside of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. And there's like, just for context, 2,500 kids in the whole school. So I don't know, let's call it 400 kids in the major, that is communications. And I am in my first major class, and the professor asks everyone to go around and say what they want to do with their communications degree. There's probably 25 kids in the class, and I am sitting kind of towards the end of the way the room is organized in terms of who's spe first. And I hear about 18 other kids say that they want to be a broadcast journalist. And so by the time he got to me, I honestly don't even remember if I said I wanted to be a broadcast journalist or if I said I wanted to go into public relations.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:08:50]:

But there was a moment, something like snapped inside me when I heard all of those other people say that they wanted to be a broadcast journalist. I knew there was only three major networks at the time, right? That's how old I am. There were no cable news networks, and there was no podcast or no YouTube shows, right? I knew that there was a limited number of broadcasting jobs, and If I had 20 other people I was competing with just from my class at this one little school in Pennsylvania, knowing there's hundreds of schools in Pennsylvania and thousands of schools in the country, and tens and tens of thousands of people that wanted to go into broadcast journalism. And I quit. I was like, nope, not going to do that. I'm going to think of something different. There's too much competition here. So while in a lot of little things, I haven't been afraid to try and fail, perhaps in that one big thing, I was afraid.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:09:39]:

I was afraid of failure. I was like, no, I'm not going to try for that, because I don't think I'll win. I don't think I'll succeed. And so I kind of gave up. And that's the way that fear of failure is almost opposite of perfectionism. The perfectionist keeps working, working, working. Fear of failure comes in. It's like, I quit.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:09:55]:

I can't do this. I'm not going to win. I'm not going to succeed. So why bother? We're going to Talk more about this right after this quick break. So when I work with clients in body image coaching, one of the exercises I have them do, and actually this is in the 40 day body image workbook. So if you haven't read the 40 day workbook or haven't done a 40 day journey with us, let me just take an opportunity right here and invite you to that because that will be super helpful. But there's an exercise that I do, it's called the ruler exercise. I'm not going to give away the whole thing, but essentially the concept is you're trying to figure out what is driving your body image issues.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:10:36]:

Because honestly, friend, like, none of us have body image issues because we really just want to look better. No, no, no, no, no. We are not that shallow. We are not that vain. There is something underneath it that is compelling and driving and screaming at us that our worth is related to our appearance. And it's not vanity for most of us. I dares. I've never worked with a client where it's just straight vanity.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:11:01]:

Some of them think it's straight vanity. And then as we dig in it's like, oh, no, that's what it is. And a lot of times the driver we find is success, right? So success being the opposite of failure. And what we find is that they actually struggle with an idol of success. Now here's the thing. Success isn't bad, right? There's nothing inherently evil around a success. But when success becomes an idol, then it becomes something that rules us. It becomes an ultimate thing.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:11:39]:

It becomes, this is a thing I need in order to know that I'm okay. This is a thing I'm depending on for peace or for confidence or for worth. That's when success becomes an idol to us. And what happens when we have an idol of success is that this fear of failure can get even bigger, right? The bigger the idol of success, the more you have at stake, the more you have to lose if you fail. Because if you fail, that success, I don't know, the tank or the meter of how successful you are is going to go down and that's going to make your worth go down. And in this fear of failure, your heart's going to say, if I'm not succeeding, I'm not safe. It's not safe to not be successful. And so how this looks in body image issues especially is that a woman will be like, it's very important for me to keep this size or keep this look or stay looking young.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:12:38]:

And as we dig in and as we Find this idol of success. I can ask a question like, well, what does it mean to you if you gain weight or if you age or if your body changes shape after pregnancy or in perimenopause? And oftentimes my client will say something like, well, it means I failed. I failed. I couldn't do it. I couldn't, couldn't succeed. I couldn't get it right. I couldn't make my body stay a certain way. And so, yeah, there might be a little touch of perfectionism, control looped in there, right? But the real fear is that I failed and often that I let someone down.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:13:24]:

Now this is another little interesting thing I do because it always comes to, who did you let down? And oftentimes clients will be like, well, I let myself down. This is about me. And then we have an interesting conversation where I say something like, oh, well, who's your life about pleasing? And they say, I know the God and Jesus answer, but it might be me. And so then we have a spiritual conversation then without any shame, guilt or condemnation. But it's just really helpful to kind of sort through who am I really living to please, Right? That's an aside. But who have I really failed? And so after we talk about them failing themselves, right, Then we have to have a conversation about, well, no, no, who is this person that you think you failed? And sometimes it is a person in their life, right? Mom or dad or a relative or you know, maybe ex boyfriend, who knows? It's a variety of people, right? And so sometimes they can identify, well, like, no, this person set standard of success for me. A lot of times it's dad. Dad said this was what it meant to be successful.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:14:30]:

And part of that package wasn't just career success. Part of that package was how you look. A successful person looks like this. And I am failing dad because I'm in perimenopause and I've gained 50 pounds and I don't look successful. And a lot of these women still have their super successful jobs and careers and they're intelligent and they've got great families and they feel like they are failing because they couldn't make their bodies stay a certain way. And that fear of failure, that success idol comes in and it says, too bad you couldn't do it if you just try harder. Just try harder. You can reach me, you can reach success.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:15:10]:

This is just the one piece. Oh, I hear this all the time, friend. It's the one piece of my life I can't get right. I get every other piece of my Life, right? But this body piece, I just can't get it right. And I need to have all of it right so that I can be successful. Then I will know I haven't failed. Then my dad will be proud. But here's the thing, right? When we're doing that, it's not really about making dad proud.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:15:36]:

In fact, most of the time when I go deeper with clients, they're like, no. I mean, honestly, I do know that my dad loves me, and my dad's not mad that my body changed in perimenopause. And I know that I'm not actually letting him down. I'm really just letting down this vision I had for myself. And then we go back to, oh, you mean the success idol, right? And. And it's. It's really this unraveling and an understanding of the truth of, like, who am I trying to please? Who am I afraid of failing? I'm afraid of failing me. I'm afraid of failing my dad.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:16:14]:

What about God? What's his standard? Am I afraid of failing? God's standard? Does God have a standard for how my body's supposed to look? Does God have a standard for all these little things in my life that I'm like, success or failure? Success or failure? Gotta do it right? Success or failure? Oftentimes, friends, all of these standards we have for ourselves, all of these things that we put a meter on, success or failure? Succeed, fail on all these areas of our lives. Marriage success or failure. Parenting success or failure. You know, career success or failure. Body success or failure. Right? We. We have these invisible measures in our brains where, okay, success means this in my marriage. Success means this in my body.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:17:02]:

Success means this in my parenting. Success means this in my career. But, friend, none of those things are actually in the Bible. We just made them up. We decided that success means making x thousand dollars a year. We decided that success in parenting means having a child that does well academically or gets into a good college or maybe has a great boyfriend that they marry at a young age like wheat. That's so arbitrary. Your definition of success and my definition of success are probably not going to be the same.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:17:39]:

There might be some overlap because we live in the same culture. Perhaps if you're living in the U.S. but my global friends might have different definitions. Success is not a standard set by scripture. Holiness is right. And so all this pressure we put on ourselves to succeed or fail, Succeed or fail, Got to succeed. Don't want to fail. Right? This is all outside of what God actually asks of us.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:18:07]:

Which is to be obedient to him, to try to grow to be more like Jesus, to grow in his ways, to love him and love others like this. Success fail meter is completely arbitrary. You don't have to live by it, friend. Now let me be honest with you. When you have an idol of success, the idol of success is not going to let you go. It's not going to let you redefine things. It's not going to let you relax on things. In fact, the idol of success will continue to demand more and more and more and more and more.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:18:42]:

It will never let you rest. We end up worshiping it. That's what we do with idols, right? We're looking to that success to save us from feeling unworthy. If I know that all of my buttons are flipped to success and none of them are flipped to failure, then I know I'm worthy. And oh friend, that's not where our worth is defined. And here's the thing, oh friend, the fear of failure is really just a misunderstanding of God's grace. We're disconnected from it. We've forgotten grace.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:19:18]:

We're living as if we still have to earn what God gave us, a free gift, right? The fear of failure is misunderstanding who we have to please, right? Because like I said, when we fail, oftentimes we are failing. According to whose standard? According to my standard or maybe my parents standard, right? And yes, we are going to fail according to God's standard. That's actually a given. That's actually like straight up in the Bible, like all have sinned and come short of the glory of God is what Romans says, right? So when we're trying to get everything right here on this earth aside from God's standards of us, we're living in a kingdom that we were never meant to live in. We're trying to succeed in a kingdom that we were never meant to succeed in, right? We can drop out of the success failure rat race that is the world's economy that you succeed. If your kids do this, you succeed. If your body looks like this, you are successful success. If your home looks like this and your career looks like this and you drive this kind of car.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:20:28]:

Friend, that is not God's economy. But the good news is God's economy. You've all already flipped the switch to success. If you've accepted his grace, you cannot fail now. Yes, you can fail him. We all again fall short, right? We all sin. We all, oh, we mess up according to standards. But friend, my question for you is like, whose standards are you more Worried about your own standards, your own definitions of success and failure, or God's standards of success and failure? Because here's the thing.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:21:05]:

If you're totally obsessed with your own standards of success and failure, let's just go to body image, for example. If you were totally obsessed with keeping your body a certain size, a certain look, because that's success and you need to be successful and you don't want to fail, you have this fear of failure. You can't fail, you can't gain weight, you can't look different. Friend, you can drive yourself crazy. There's no way out of that. You'll never achieve a body that will stay the same enough to give you rest and peace in that area. Because it's an arbitrary standard, right? I mean, okay, yeah, you're fighting aging, but also, I've made this joke before, right? The beauty standard keeps changing. So even if you've achieved a perfect standard of Beauty in 2025, in 2030, a different look might be in.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:21:54]:

And friend, your body might not adjust to that look five years from now, right? There's never rest when we're trying to meet our own standards of success, because even our own standards are changing. They're not fixed, they're not absolute truths. They're influenced by culture. Okay, not sure you believe me. How many of you had a of sense standard where you would not eat carbohydrates? Maybe five, seven, ten years ago that was your standard. Because the truth you were living on was that carbohydrates make you fat. And now things are changing. And now they're telling women in perimenopause you better get enough carbs.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:22:33]:

And it's enough to make you crazy, because the standard's always changing. So in order to be successful, you have to always be changing. But here's the truth. God's standards don't change. He is always the same. Yesterday, today, forever. Right? And his standard of success you will never meet, not even a shot. The only chance you have is because of what Jesus did for you.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:23:02]:

Because of God's grace and sending Jesus to be rejected on your behalf, to die death a horrible, shameful death, even though he lived a perfect life, died a shameful death, and then was resurrected. He conquered sin and death and rejection and shame. He conquered it for you so that God could see you as a success, so that God could see you as perfect. And God's love doesn't go up and down, up and down, up and down for you based on whether you succeed or fail him. God's grace is sufficient for you now? Yes, friend. We don't abuse that grace, right? We don't try to sin. We don't take grace lightly and be like, I'm gonna do whatevs because God's gonna forgive me. No, no, no, That's.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:23:56]:

That's not what the Bible is saying, right? But because we are so in awe of God's grace, because we're so appreciative of what he has done for us, we want to obey Him. We want to make his standards our standards. We want to try to be perfect as he is perfect. And when I say perfect, that word in James doesn't mean perfect. The way we think about it, it really means whole. It means healthy. It means emotionally, mentally, spiritually. We are one person completely devoted to serving Jesus.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:24:34]:

Not split like, I'm going to serve Jesus in this part of my life, but this part of my life. Oh, my body. That's mine. Sorry, God. You can have the rest, but I'm going to take care of this part. No, no, no. We are whole. And in that wholeness, we are pursuing holiness.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:24:50]:

The only way to conquer the fear of failure is to realize you were never meant to succeed in the world's way and take your worth from that. Now, you may succeed in the world's way. You may have the best body, you may have the best home. You may have the best career. You can win all those contests. Yay, you. But you might still feel like you're not sure about your worth until you embrace the message of the gospel, until you know that's the only place your worth is going to come from. His kingdom is not the kingdom of this world.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:25:27]:

So succeeding in the kingdom of this world is only going to make the fear of failure worse as you feel the consequences of maybe losing the kingdom of this world. But isn't that what God actually asks of us? That we put this kingdom aside? That we stop pursuing all these vain pursuits, that we stop trying to do all these things to earn our worth here. That we stop trying to live life the world's way. That we stop being conformed to the way the world thinks. We stop being, as James says, spotted, tarnished by the world, and instead we follow Jesus. We not only think a little differently, we do things a little differently. So as we close today, I want to ask you a question. Is there something, an area of your life where you're afraid of failure? Maybe you've been afraid to start exercising because you are afraid that you won't be able to do it perfectly or that exercise won't change you, or that exercise will not work for you.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:26:41]:

If you've had all those thoughts, friend, let me just free you right? You are putting too much stock in exercise. Who cares if exercise does any of those things for you? It may, it may not. But moving your body could feel good. Don't worry about failing at it. You can't fail at it. You're just trying it. Maybe you've been afraid to do something, to serve in a way at church because you're not sure if you'll be good at it. You're not sure if you'd be good in kids ministry or good working with youth or good leading a women's Bible study or leading a group in your women's Bible study.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:27:25]:

Friend, again, who are you letting define success and failure for you? Don't not do it because you're afraid you're not going to be good at it. Here's the thing. Most of us aren't good at new things. We have to learn how to do them. We grow. We grow in sanctification, we grow in skills. We grow as we try things. So what are you afraid of? You're not going to disappoint God.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:27:53]:

In fact, if you're doing something that he's created you and gifted you to do and is prompting and asking you to do, friend, you really have no choice but to jump in, right? And then know he's going to catch you. Even if it doesn't go well, he's going to catch you. Maybe it'll be catch you and redirect you to something else. Or maybe it'll be catch you and through those lessons you learned through trying to that hard thing and maybe not experiencing great success at first. Oh, he's gonna grow you up. So you're gonna be more like Jesus and really be more effective for his kingdom. Because you're growing to be more like him. Because you're learning humility.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:28:37]:

You're learning to rely on him, to trust in him instead of your own ability. You're being sanctified, friend. These are all good things. So what are you afraid of? What are you afraid of failing in? Has the definition of worldly success become too important to you? Is that the way you're defining everything in your life? And if it is, encourage you lay it down. Lay down that idol of success. Spend some time in prayer even today, saying, God, I surrender my definitions of success. I surrender this idol. God, show me when this idol's rearing its ugly head and help me to no longer bow to this idol.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:29:21]:

Where you need faith, friend, is to live a life that's different than the lives you see on Instagram and TikTok. Where you need faith, friend, is to know that your greatest hope is in Jesus alone, not in your ability to succeed. Where you need faith, friend, is to know that God and what he did for you on the cross is the only thing that defines your worth and your value. It takes faith to believe that the Bible is true. It takes even more faith to believe that that part of the Bible is true and to tune out your own voices, your own self criticism, your own self hatred, your own negativity, your own my truth lies about who you are and to believe what Scripture says about you is true. You're already a success because of what Jesus did for you, friend. I hope this has encouraged you Today again, I encourage you to connect with us. I'll send you 10 days of encouragement.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:30:20]:

If you go to improvebodyimage.com or heathercreekmore.com you can find out all the other things we have to offer to encourage you in your walk to become a more mature believer. Right. That's really where we get stuck, friend. We just, we're like, okay, I'm a Christian now. Now I'm just gonna go back to living like the world. Nope, sorry, it doesn't work that way. Right. We need to be growing for not growing to be more like Jesus.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:30:44]:

We're growing even more like the world and that's a problem. So I'm glad you were here for this. Invite a friend next time to listen to the show with you and to discuss the show with you so you can encourage each other in real life life. And if this show blessed you, hey, leave a review those bless us. Thanks again for listening. I hope something today has helped you stop comparing and start living. Bye bye. The compare to your show is proud to be part of the Life Audio Podcast network.

 

Heather Creekmore [00:31:11]:

For more great Christian podcasts, go to lifeaudio. Com.



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