Cultivating Peace: Understanding Anxiety, Control, and God's Design feat: Nichole Suvar [Podcast Transcript]

Title: Cultivating Peace: Understanding Anxiety, Control, and God's Design feat: Nichole Suvar

Podcast Date: June 2, 2026

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Description 

Are anxious thoughts stealing your peace? Do you find yourself trapped in a cycle of worry, perfectionism, or rigid control—sometimes without even realizing it? You're not alone, and you don't have to face this struggle in silence.

In this episode, the conversation dives deep into the pervasive reality of anxiety—what it feels like, why so many of us miss the signs, and how faith intersects with mental health. Nichole Suvar shares her own journey, from childhood panic attacks no one could name, to adulthood struggles with shame, perfectionism, and even suicidal thoughts. Hear how finally receiving a diagnosis for anxiety and depression brought relief, clarity, and a path to healing—and how opening up about her struggles helped others around her do the same.

A key theme that emerged was how many in our generation grew up lacking language for anxiety ("just calm down" or "don't worry" was the advice), while younger generations often recognize these feelings sooner. The discussion explores practical steps for those overwhelmed by worry—from identifying anxious patterns hiding in everyday life, to learning how to relinquish false control and invite God into the struggle.

One concept discussed is the illusion that peace can be earned through achieving the "perfect" body, success, or image. Instead, lasting peace is something we cultivate—not manufacture—by returning to God's original design and practicing true stewardship, not unhealthy control (18:48).

If you've ever felt ashamed of your anxiety, doubted your faith because of your mental health battles, or wondered when worry crosses the line into something more serious, this episode will meet you with wisdom, compassion, and hope. You'll come away with fresh insight, tangible tools for daily surrender, and the freeing reminder: You don’t have to hold it all together.

Listen in to discover:

• How to spot hidden anxiety—even if you think it’s “just your personality”
  
  
• The practical differences between worry, concern, and clinical anxiety
  
  
• Why control feels soothing, but never truly delivers peace
  
  
• What “cultivating Eden” looks like in a modern world
  
  
• Why God’s peace isn’t achieved, but received—and how to start seeking it today
  
  

Connect with Nichole Suvar:

• Website: livewithintent.org
  
  
• Instagram: @nicolejsuvar
  
  
• Book: I Don’t Have to Hold It All Together: Cultivating the Peace of Eden When Feeling Overwhelmed (Amazon affiliate link: Tiny portion of your purchase goes to support Compared to Who? ministry.)
  
  

If you are ready to release shame, deepen your faith, and discover a new way to walk through anxiety, hit play now.

Ready to feel less anxiety around your body image and food issues? Join the next 40-Day Journey which starts June 3rd. Learn more here: https://www.improvebodyimage.com/40-day-challenge

Transcript

Disclaimer: This transcript is AI-generated and has not been edited for accuracy or clarity.

Heather Creekmore [00:00:01]:

Nicole Suvar, thank you for being on the Compare to podcast today. Yes.

Nichole Suvar [00:00:06]:

It's so good to be here, Heather.

Heather Creekmore [00:00:08]:

Well, I'm excited to talk to you because you are. You have a ministry you are talking about. You're writing about this topic that I just don't know anyone who is exempt from thinking about, and that's anxiety, worry, all the things that we. The list of things we have to feel anxious about every day. And I'm excited for us to just dig in because I know you must have a story, Nicole. Like, you don't write about this stuff without having a story.

Nichole Suvar [00:00:46]:

Yeah.

Heather Creekmore [00:00:48]:

So can you tell us what. What. What led you to a place where you wanted to do this kind of work? And what's your. What's your story? Yeah.

Nichole Suvar [00:00:57]:

So, yeah, my ministry is about mental wellness, specifically anxiety, and exploring God's design for mental wellness.

Heather Creekmore [00:01:06]:

Okay.

Nichole Suvar [00:01:07]:

Versus what the world has to offer. Yeah. So anxiety, you could probably say I'm an expert on it. Just because, like, an expert's decided someone who has at least 10, 000 hours doing whatever. The thing is, I have at least that many hours.

Heather Creekmore [00:01:23]:

My.

Nichole Suvar [00:01:23]:

My memories go back to when I was, like, 8 years old, having panic attacks in school and not having a language for it. It just. Worry was really the word that maybe I would use. And so even though, like, my stomach's up in knots, my palms are sweaty, I'm breathing really shallow, I could hardly think because my mind's just spinning. Those were the panic attacks. But my teacher, like, from whatever I could discuss with or tell them about it, it was just like, don't worry about it. So not that big a deal. Just calm down.

Nichole Suvar [00:01:57]:

Heard that language for years. And I know for one part, it's just. We didn't have that language back in the 90s.

Heather Creekmore [00:02:05]:

Absolutely.

Nichole Suvar [00:02:06]:

Yeah. And also, I wasn't communicating the best just because I also didn't have the language for what really was going on inside me. And so it just. I kept trying harder to not worry, to just calm down, and it was really hard, and I really could not do it well. And that evolved into. When I was in high school, all of that anxiety that was built up in me and not knowing where to go with it, it came out in control and perfectionism and having a plan for everything. And I also gave my life to Jesus. I thought maybe that would make it better.

Nichole Suvar [00:02:41]:

It did. Not in the way that the. I would tell others about it, because I still was feeling this worry. And instead of the. Just calm down. It's not that big. A deal. It was.

Nichole Suvar [00:02:53]:

Did you pray about it? Have you read your Bible? And so I took on this another burden of not only am I not able to worry, but now I can't do it because the Bible's telling me I shouldn't, but I am. So I must not be a very good Christian, because I keep struggling with this. And it wasn't until I was 36 years old, and I was, for the third time in my life, suicidal. And I had a friend who told me, you need to call a mental health hotline. She could see the. She could see that in me, even though I didn't know what it was. And I called the hotline, and for the first time in my life, I had the words, this sounds like you have anxiety. And it was like the clouds had opened up.

Nichole Suvar [00:03:39]:

Like, it wasn't a burden. It was finally a relief to have, like, some validation to the. To what I had been feeling my entire life. And at that point, I went to a doctor. I started seeing a counselor. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder, as well as severe depression, major depression, and started on. That was when I finally started on the road to healing. And as I'm learning more about this, these diagnoses that I now have, learning to heal and finding that when I was open and talking about it with others, I was getting a lot more of, like, oh, that sounds like me.

Nichole Suvar [00:04:13]:

I have that same thing. And realizing, like, this is the way that I can turn these ashes into beauty. Like, this is what. How God can flow through me in this, and that I can help others realize that it's okay to struggle with anxiety. Like, this is life outside of Eden. We are in exile. We're going to experience it, but it's what we do with it. And burying it deep and living in shame is not what we need to do.

Nichole Suvar [00:04:36]:

We need to keep taking it to Jesus. And he has tools. By his design. He has tools to help us thrive despite this anxiety.

Heather Creekmore [00:04:47]:

Yeah. That's so good. Yeah. And I love how you said, like, we. We just didn't have language for it.

Nichole Suvar [00:04:53]:

Yeah.

Heather Creekmore [00:04:56]:

Because I would have never told you that I had any anxiety problems even I could have. You know, I knew I worried about my body a lot and was constantly thinking about body image, food, things. But it wasn't until I was 40, and I don't. I don't want to go down the rabbit trail of, like, you know, related health things. But at 40, I got my tonsils out because I had some random things going on. And my doctor was like, well, she's like, you know, they're taking tonsils out of kids now for pandas. I don't know if you're familiar with pandas.

Nichole Suvar [00:05:32]:

Yes.

Heather Creekmore [00:05:32]:

But, you know, so kids with pandas, like, super. Like, there's a level of. A high level of anxiety there, and it's generated by the amount of strep in their body. And so I have a lot of strep in my body. And so she's like, we could just try it.

Nichole Suvar [00:05:45]:

It worked.

Heather Creekmore [00:05:46]:

Works for those kids because we were just trying to get the strep out, and I got my tonsils out, Nicole. And I was like, it was kind of weird. It was like, oh, I'm not, like, thinking, I can't wait till my. My last activity of the day is over so I can just be at home anymore. And, like, I didn't realize all of. Well, even clock checking later, I learned, you know, if you check the clock 100 times an hour, that actually could be a sign of anxiety. Right. So.

Heather Creekmore [00:06:15]:

So, like, I. I do. It is interesting to think of about the people that are in our age range that just have never thought that that could be a problem. Right. Like, and we might use the language that we're a little worried, but to even think about it being anxiety is a different thing. Whereas younger people, I think, are more versed in that language. How do you know when anxiety has crossed the line into, maybe I need additional help?

Nichole Suvar [00:06:50]:

Yeah, because there's a part where you can be concerned. Like, it's okay to be concerned about things. I think that's a part of how God built us, too, because we need to be concerned about our children and our health or so that we will feed our bodies and care after our children and go to jobs, because we are. Like, there's a level of concern that we all need to live with just to keep us safe. But when it rises to the point that it's anxiety, it's those thoughts that keep coming over and over in your head. They actually keep you from living a life that you want to live. They. They might keep you from going places that you would.

Nichole Suvar [00:07:32]:

You would like to go. But there's these other things, these things that you're worried about that make you anxious, that keep you from going, or maybe if you go and you don't enjoy it at all because of all of this anxiety. So there's all these things that can keep you from really enjoying the gifts that God has around you because. Yeah. It weighs so heavy on you.

Heather Creekmore [00:07:53]:

Yeah.

Nichole Suvar [00:07:53]:

Yeah.

Heather Creekmore [00:07:54]:

And I think for, like, listeners of this show, one of the challenges is that anxiety is focused on whether it's anxiety diagnosable or, or worry or concern. It's really focused on image. Right? It's what will other people think of me if I go to this place? What will they think of me? Do I look okay? Am I the right size to fit in with this group of people? Am I dressed the right way? Will like me? Or will people judge me for my body or the way I look? Right. And it's all of this like bag of, of kind of centralized. I mean we've probably, a lot of us are able to multitask, so we're probably anxious about other things too. But it kind of centralized around some of these things. And I think there's a connection, you know, even with eating disorders and some of this. Like, have you observed any of that?

Nichole Suvar [00:08:43]:

Yeah, with just my own experience. I have a daughter who's in recovery of having an anxiety disorder or, sorry, an eating disorder. And there's definitely. When we get anxious, we want to get under things, under control. And so when we have this anxiety risingness that we try to find the things in our lives that we can control. And what is one thing that we can control? We can control how much food we put in our bodies or not. There is this, this feeling that we get that finally I, that we, we think is this false sense of peace or calm because I have these things under control, therefore I must feel peace. But it's manufactured because it's something that we've created ourselves.

Nichole Suvar [00:09:27]:

And so yeah, I would just explore like what things in your life are you controlling? And when you control them, that you believe that you feel better, that you feel more at peace because of that control. I think those, those are the things we need to stop and look at a little closer because some of those things may not be what we're supposed to be controlling, but they're actually supposed to be trusting God to be doing.

Heather Creekmore [00:09:50]:

Yeah, yeah, okay. But Nicole, trusting God for some of this stuff. Woo. That's hard. Like.

Nichole Suvar [00:09:57]:

Yes. Oh yes.

Heather Creekmore [00:10:00]:

Like I just can't like snap my fingers three times and. Okay, I'm not gonna worry about it anymore. Like what's, what's the first step in releasing control?

Nichole Suvar [00:10:09]:

Right? Because that just saying let's just trust God is just like those people were telling me in third grade, don't worry about it. It's not that big a deal. Like just trust God. So sometimes you have to do practical things that you actually act out with your body because there's something about when we move our body in a certain way, we also are communicating with our brain, with our whole self, like, what we're doing. So sometimes it's a brain dump of everything that I'm anxious about or all of these things that I think I need to be in control of. Like you physically write them all out down on paper, and then it may be reading them out loud and saying them out loud. Because sometimes when you say them out loud, we're realizing, like, they maybe. They maybe seem a little less.

Nichole Suvar [00:10:55]:

What. Making more sense. Less sense when we say them out loud. Sometimes it's. It's. Once we have them all written down, we pray over it and we ask God. We need to keep inviting God into it. It's.

Nichole Suvar [00:11:08]:

This is not going to be a one and done. This isn't going to be like just flipping the light switch in. It's all over. But it is a daily bringing to him, but which, for one part, we think, like, daily. This sounds exhausting, but the beautiful thing about our Father is that when we are daily bringing something to him and he daily wants to take it back. Like, his mercies are new every morning, which means every morning he's. He is willing and able and ready to take whatever thing we picked back up and think that we need to control. He is ready to take it back.

Nichole Suvar [00:11:43]:

And I found, like, that is anxiety for me is kind of like that thorn that Paul talked about. Like that thorn in the flesh that he asked God to remove and he did not. Because I see it as if I did not have this anxiety, there would be that part that I would not keep coming to God. Every morning I have to come to him because I will wake up some mornings and I just have dread. I. It's that generalized anxiety that's resting on me. It just. I feel like something's gonna happen and I don't know what it is, but it feels like dread.

Nichole Suvar [00:12:13]:

And instantly when you have that happen, you're like, okay, so what can I do? What are the things that I can control so that I feel better? Before I even start doing that, I need to say, God, I need you to go ahead of me. I need you to be near. I need you to be the one in control. And I want to follow you.

Heather Creekmore [00:12:29]:

Yeah. Yeah, that's good. Can I back it up just a second, though?

Nichole Suvar [00:12:34]:

Sure.

Heather Creekmore [00:12:36]:

I wonder if part of the challenge here is actually even identifying the dread. Actually, even. Because I think some of us have lived with that, like, ugh, feeling in the morning for so long. We don't Even notice it anymore. Right. Like. Like, it's just a friend or that's just me or that's my personality or whatever you want to. Right.

Heather Creekmore [00:12:57]:

Like, is there. Is there a step in there to kind of notice that?

Nichole Suvar [00:13:03]:

Yeah. For. Oh, to even, like, notice it, I was thinking, like, for me, I have to sometimes start following the route. Like, what exactly is there. Is there a conversation I had?

Heather Creekmore [00:13:16]:

Yeah. What insiders? Yeah.

Nichole Suvar [00:13:17]:

Yes.

Heather Creekmore [00:13:18]:

Yes.

Nichole Suvar [00:13:18]:

Was there a conversation. Is there something on the calendar coming up that is weighing on me? Is there something in this day that I. That needs to be done and I'm not looking forward to it. Like, sometimes it's just a phone call.

Heather Creekmore [00:13:29]:

Right.

Nichole Suvar [00:13:30]:

Like, it could be something small, but it feels so heavy. So I think for me, it's not. That's for helping me try to identify it. I think to, like, it's. It can be hard to understand that we're living with that dread if that's all we've ever known. Because even for myself, when. When I had that. Finally made that call to the hotline, and they said, like, this sounds like you have anxiety and you're suffering from depression.

Nichole Suvar [00:13:55]:

When I finally had. Saw a doctor and I did go on medication for a time just to kind of get things balanced out, like, all the hormone things that needed help that I was. There was a point in time that I was like, oh, is this how everybody else lives? Like, I really thought everyone lived with, like, this level of anxiety, but they just could manage it better.

Heather Creekmore [00:14:16]:

Yeah.

Nichole Suvar [00:14:16]:

But realizing, like, oh, no, other people can, like, think clearly and don't have all these ruminating thoughts. Like, I think, like, when some of that was removed is when I could notice it.

Heather Creekmore [00:14:27]:

Yeah.

Nichole Suvar [00:14:27]:

So I think that if somebody's living in and not even realizing it, I think maybe it's even just to start, like, let's try to find. Follow the route and follow the trail and see if there is something in there. Because when you can start identifying it, bringing it to God, seeing what part is his to control, what part is it you can address right now?

Heather Creekmore [00:14:48]:

Yeah.

Nichole Suvar [00:14:49]:

Then you might start to sense some of that lifting. And then you're realizing, like, oh, I was living with that hanging on my back all this time.

Heather Creekmore [00:14:55]:

Yeah, that's really good. And I'm thinking, you know, even for, like, folks with eating disorders, well, specifically anorexia, like, that's one of the challenges early on is if your brain is underfed, your body's underfed, your brain is underfed, you're not able to think rationally and logically. I Should eat more food. I should not be so worried. I should apply the word of God to my struggle. Like, you. You, like, just don't have the capacity to work from your prefrontal cortex and think about these things. Like, you need to.

Nichole Suvar [00:15:32]:

So.

Heather Creekmore [00:15:32]:

Yeah, that's. That's. That's good. Yeah. And I also. I think about, like, for me, it's the. When I feel my stomach sink, that's my. Like, oh, what just made my stomach sink? Like, what.

Heather Creekmore [00:15:49]:

Like, what happened? And doing what you do with, like, the root, you know, identifying the root. It's like, yeah, okay. What was it something I saw on Instagram? You know, was it that text message I just got? Or like you said, is it this meeting I have coming up? Like, so that's. I think that's really, really helpful. Like, our body does talk to us about those kind of things, so. But you talk about returning to God's design. What do you mean by that?

Nichole Suvar [00:16:16]:

Yes. Well, I mean, you just mentioned, like, Instagram. Like, you could scroll Instagram, and it won't take very long until you've got all of these people that are telling you all of these hacks for the best way to, like, just even for your mental health. Or maybe it's organizing something or getting something under control. There's so many things out there, and some of them are good. But when we are making those our main things and we're neglecting what God has had from the very beginning for us, we are missing out on so much. And so in my book that's coming out June 2nd.

Heather Creekmore [00:16:52]:

Okay, awesome.

Nichole Suvar [00:16:53]:

Yes. It's. I don't have to hold it all together. Cultivate.

Heather Creekmore [00:16:57]:

I love that title. Say that again. Say that again, Nicole. Everyone needs to hear that.

Nichole Suvar [00:17:00]:

We all need to hear it.

Heather Creekmore [00:17:01]:

Yeah. Say it loud from the rooftop.

Nichole Suvar [00:17:04]:

I don't have to hold it all together. Cultivating the peace of Eden when feeling overwhelmed. And in this book, we go back to Eden and we are looking at these different attributes of Eden that even though the fall has happened and we are in exile, we are no longer in Eden. Although our bodies were created to live in Eden, to live in that garden. And we're exiled. And God has, in his gracious goodness, has left some of these parts of Eden that are here on this earth for us to access. And when we are intentional in cultivating those in our lives, we can access his peace. We can understand him better.

Nichole Suvar [00:17:44]:

We can grow and thrive. And the. That going back to, like, the cultivating means you need to be intentional. So cultivating. That's doing the things that you're supposed to do and you're allowing God to do the things he's supposed to do. It's all about control and outcomes. Because he's never asked us to be in trouble of. Be control of any outcome.

Nichole Suvar [00:18:07]:

Like, he is the one who provides. He's the one who gives the increase. He's the one who ultimately is at the end of that outcome in the success. But our part, just like with a garden, you have to go get the seeds, you have to till up the ground, you got to plant the seeds, you got to water it. But then. And that, that's it. The sunshine is not yours, the rain is not yours. The.

Nichole Suvar [00:18:29]:

The blossoms that come and the fruit and the vegetables, like that is all God. That's all of the increase in the provision. We just have to do our parts of the cultivation.

Heather Creekmore [00:18:38]:

Yeah, yeah, that's really good. That's a good way to think about it. You also talk about peace. Not peace being cultivated, not achieved, I think is the way you say it. I love that because I think women with body image issues especially, okay, just like insight here, if you, if you haven't watched this personally, but our belief system is that I will achieve peace when I get my body a certain way. When I get the look that I've been trying to get for. And I work with women up to their 70s. Like, I've been trying to get this look for 60 years, since I was 10 years old.

Heather Creekmore [00:19:18]:

That's when peace will come. But that's not how we achieve peace, is it?

Nichole Suvar [00:19:24]:

Yeah, no, the piece is never ours to make.

Heather Creekmore [00:19:29]:

Oh, I love that. Yeah.

Nichole Suvar [00:19:31]:

But we, that's another part of, like being outside of Eden. We have grappled and taken it on for ourselves. And so then we have all of these things that we believe we need to do in order to get that peace. That's us trying to manufacture it. When God is the perfect piece, he is the creator of peace. Nothing else brings peace like our Father does. Like, it's that peace that passes all understanding. And it's because of that, because we, in our human minds, what we believe peace is, is like this piece here on earth, but it's so small in comparison to what he has to offer for us.

Nichole Suvar [00:20:08]:

And we miss out on so much when we have our own to do list instead of looking to him to be the one to give us our peace. And that, that comes down to what are we willing to give to him with open hands. So when you control things, you hold on with tight fists like you need to, like, you think of like a race car if it's going super fast, like you got a tight fist, you have to clench in order to control it. Yeah, but that isn't. That was never our job.

Heather Creekmore [00:20:41]:

Yeah.

Nichole Suvar [00:20:42]:

Like, we were given stewardship. Like, that was before the fall. God gave Adam and Eve stewardship in the garden. Like to tend the garden, to care for the animals. So that part is. That's the stewardship that he has asked of us. Like, what has he given in our lives that we steward and you steward with open hands. But then after the fall has happened, we've twisted stewardship into control and we start taking it all and believe that we are in charge of it instead of keeping God at the center of the provision of the outcomes.

Heather Creekmore [00:21:14]:

Preach. Preach. Yeah. Spot on. Spot on. Yeah. I mean, we talk about that a lot. You know, the.

Heather Creekmore [00:21:23]:

The stewardship message as it pertains to taking care of your body, I think has been super twisted in Christian culture.

Nichole Suvar [00:21:30]:

Yeah.

Heather Creekmore [00:21:31]:

By the church, unfortunately. I love the church. Husband's a pastor. But we have taken what it means to steward and exactly what you just said. We've. We've made that about control. And that's, I think, why eating disorders are an epidemic, a silent epidemic, perhaps, inside the church because we congratulate the woman who can go a day without eating for how much quote, unquote, self control she has and how well she's stewarding her body. It's like, that's.

Heather Creekmore [00:22:00]:

That's not it. So I really appreciate you breaking that down and, you know, to just circle back. It's the peace that we're all looking for. Right. That's what we all desire. We just want to make the buzz and the noise and the, ah, go away. We're looking for that peace and we can't. We can't make it happen on our own, can we?

Nichole Suvar [00:22:30]:

You can't make it happen and you are not going to find it anywhere in the world.

Heather Creekmore [00:22:33]:

Yeah. Yeah. It doesn't come when you wear a certain size or get a certain house or marry a certain person or have a certain number of children or have those children be a certain kind of successful or any of the things that the world promises us. Yeah. Oh, Nicole, I am so excited about your book. There's a lot of themes in it that are similar to things I'm writing about right now. My book won't be up for a year, so you guys need to go read this book today. Tell us, Tell us the name one more, one more time.

Heather Creekmore [00:23:04]:

Because I just love it and and then talk to us about where we can connect with you.

Nichole Suvar [00:23:08]:

Yes, I don't have to hold it all together Cultivating the peace of Eden when feeling overwhelmed. And you can find me on my website livewithintent.org and there's a tab on there for books. My all of my books are on there and my latest one being this one. I'm also on Instagram. I post a few times a week generally something that has to do with God's for mental wellness and encouragement to live in him, cultivate his goodness instead of what the world has. And you can find me at Nicole Jsuvar over there too.

Heather Creekmore [00:23:41]:

Awesome. And I'll make sure we've got links to all of that in the show notes. Well Nicole, thank you so much for being on the podcast today.

Nichole Suvar [00:23:47]:

This has been so good. Heather, thank you.

Heather Creekmore [00:23:49]:

I love it and thanks for all the good work you're doing and thank you for watching or listening today. I hope something today has helped you stop comparing and start living. Bye bye.